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Eileen
writes, "I am what you call a
cougar who has fallen for a much younger man, whom I
see in a professional setting. I have
flirted with him to show that
I am
interested but he has simply been totally
unresponsive. I know this guy is
not married because it came up in a
conversation. The thing that scares me is that he is
38 years old and he still lives at home. He is a
professional and not a
loser.
It maybe because he takes care of
aging
parents, I really don't know.
Maybe he
is gay, but I don't think so. Having a business
relationship with him makes me very uncomfortable asking
him questions about his
personal life. How do I get around that?"
Why do men not always respond to a
woman's advances?
I am a little bit concerned that a
never-married man at 38 still lives at home (maybe
he does take care of his parents, which is nice, but it
is still awkward). I am thinking if he is like
Ricky Martin or Anderson Cooper and so many others,
who are simply
too shy to
come out for whatever reason. Maybe his living at
home is just a way to avoid all the scrutiny of his
orientation.
Due to the delicate nature of your relationship with
him, my suggestion to you would be to interact with him
more often, on one pretext or another. More interaction
with him will send him the message that you want
something more and will also help you learn more about
him -- as you know well when we
spend more
time with others, there are so many ways to ask
difficult questions (for instance, you could not ask
someone you rarely meet about their
relationship status but after a while you have so
many ways to ask what they do during weekends and that
can give a hint if the
person is single or
in a
relationship). Hopefully, it will come out that
he maybe
gay. Or if he is not, he will see it clearly that
you want to date him. |
