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Vera,a
23-year old
girl is dating a controlling, aggressive, dominant man,
who mistreats her and
cheats on
her with by hanging out with
multiple women. As she gets
ready
to marry him and
buy a home together so that they can
start a family, she writes, "I know you will think
of me as an idiot and stupid but I cannot tell this man
anything. He
gets angry
easily and does not listen to anything I say. I love
him a lot and am just hoping that things will change
over time. As you had advised one of your readers in
another article, I just do not have the
guts to confront him and ask him to change his
behavior. I am so frustrated but it seems that this is
my fate and hopefully he will change over time."
I
totally understand why you are
afraid of confrontation.
We all are; even though my
girl is very sweet, I am still scared and reluctant
of confronting her. It is not a pleasant experience and
we both feel terrible afterwards. However, there
are times when I have to do it because if not, she takes
advantage of me and assumes that I am an idiot.
What can you do?
You do not have to confront him right away. Take your
time. Collect evidence and prepare yourself mentally.
The extra time will also allow you to find out if he
changes his behavior and stops
contacting other girls. In other words, do not
commit to marriage at this point. Also do not enter
into any major
financial commitment together like
buying a home or
banking together. If he rushes you into something,
ask for some time to think. Trust me it is easy to
walk away
from a relationship than to
get a divorce. My personal advice to you would be to
get
married only when you think that this is the
perfect man for you and he treats you as if you are
the
only girl on the planet. |
