Regina
writes, "This is a strange problem and it's really
getting at me now and I really don't know how to handle
it any more. My boyfriend keeps telling
me I'm
insecure, when I don't feel I am. It's mainly around
education. He has a degree and has nearly finished his
masters degree. Whilst I don't have a degree and am more
the life skills kind of person. I have not had any
problems with
gaining jobs because of it and have never considered
it to be a problem
for me
professionally with what I want to do, as I am very
confident with my abilities and extremely determined. He
works in education also and teaches
teenagers, so the conversation comes up quite
frequently, which I enjoy having to some degree as I
have a
teenager myself and enjoy the different and fresh
perspective. Today for example: I asked him about A
level choices and spun some ideas around with him, he
gave very valuable and constructive feedback, some food
for thought and great advice that I found valuable. At
the end he said I should charge you. Then he kept going
on about it, "Don't you know how much I could make
giving this information?" To which I said 'yeah
whatever' whilst he was having a rant and going on and
on about it. I only wanted the advice! He just did my
head in as he does stuff like it all the time. I spoke
to him later on the phone to which I had forgotten about
it. He brought it up again and asked me why I was so
insecure? He replied that I didn't like to hear what he
was saying before. I told him he was a
jerk
and he really needs to get over his ego. Recently he
cheated on
me to which I decided to stay with him and work it out.
Initially he was ok with the crying, but when I did get
a bit edgy because he was
going to go out of town with his
mates
clubbing, he seemed amused initially and in an
argument a week or so later he again said that I'm
insecure. That was the only time I did feel insecure by
the way and I think for good reason. I just hear, you
are so insecure, insecure this and insecure that where
I'm starting to think that actually maybe he is, as
otherwise why on earth would he keep saying this to me
when generally I really don't
feel
insecure? Hope you can help with a fresh set of
eyes."
As
you do, I will also not deny that education is generally
important for most people, but it is not the ONLY thing
that matters. I have seen over and over again how people
with good social skills do much better in life than
those
nerds who may know a lot of stuff but end up turning
people off due to their
arrogance and disrespect to those that may not be as
educated as them or educated in different areas (I know
a lot of scientists who look down upon liberal arts
education). Trust me, I have two masters degrees myself
but I still reach out to my mother for advice on almost
all the important decisions (including those that she
might not know nothing about) even though she never
finished high school more than 50 years ago. She has
wisdom, experience, and a very sharp eye for everything
in life. I have also realized that with my 20 years of
education, I barely use 10%-20% of what I know and I am
doing pretty well in life.
|
|
This is what I have to say
about anyone but I have more to say when this
man is your boyfriend. A
couple has to love each other not because of
money or education or skills but because
they love each other. That is why if I an
excellent
golfer and my wife is not or if my wife is a
great
robot scientist and I am not, these are
immaterial to our
relationship. She has her strengths and so
do I, but when it comes to our
relationship, those are non-issues. |
If this man judges you by the diplomas
on the walls, he is clearly with the wrong woman and you
are
stuck in a bad relationship. It is not insecurity at
all; if you were truly insecure you would already be in
a
university. Actually, you don't see the need for a
university degree right now and are very secure in your
current situation.
With the
cheating and this condescending attitude, do you
really want to spend your life with this man?
Related:
How to be classy
My
husband shouts at me
How to deal with an obnoxious guy |
