Married to an insecure man

Some women like to be dominated

Summary: It might seem strange but the reality is that some men and women like to be dominated by their partners who are often insecure people. Read the story below of a woman who marries a control freak, who forces her to abandon her circle of friends and family.

Pamela writes, "My best friend is also my colleague. She is a single mom and has raised a teen daughter alone. Then she started to flirt with another colleague of ours. This is an obnoxious man and he expected her to behave like a teen in love with him; this made us all very uncomfortable at work. He even made her pregnant. When she was three months pregnant he got mad at her during our break, grabbed her hand and took her engagement ring off. Then he began to push her buttons to show her he could find someone else. He started hanging around another girl at work, taking breaks and lunch with her, always making a point of my friend seeing this. Her boyfriend would call me at night drunk telling me how bad he felt and how he didn't know why my friend acted the way she did. Then a few months later he gave her the ring back, and I watched as my friend turned into someone I didn't know anymore. My friend started coming to work and holding his hand and sneaking off to kiss and cuddle with him in the corners of our office. There actions became so disruptive at work that both of them got final warnings. My friend became pregnant with their second child right before they got married. Because they couldn't work in the same department after they got married, they moved to another shift. I've known my friend for over 18 years and I have never seen her act the way she is acting now. She's going to be 38 soon but acts like she's 14. I can't call her house and talk to her; she has to put me on speaker phone so her husband can hear what we are talking about. Our friendship is almost non existent. I feel so sad because it's like she doesn't care about anyone or anything but her husband. Why do women let insecure men control them. I've been with my husband for almost 19 years and we aren't stuck up with each other 24/7. My husband doesn't have to listen to my phone calls and doesn't care if I do things without him. I just miss my friend and wish I knew how to deal with the way she acts. I can't talk to her alone, because her husband is super-glued to her side. Can you send me some advice?"

It is very sad but it appears that your best friend is married TO a control freak. Even sadder is the fact that she does not realize what is happening to her. But here is the thing -- who are you and I to judge what is good for her. If she is otherwise happy with her husband and loves the life that she has, then you have to just let her go. You say that "she doesn't care about anyone or anything but her husband," well, good for her and the lucky man.

I know how it feels to lose a friend but that is what has happened. The best thing would be to just let her go on with her life because if you tried to tell her or her husband anything it will not only make your friendship with her difficult, it might also hurt their marriage. In case she reaches out to you for help, be there for her, but it is best to leave her alone under these circumstances. And finally, only if you sense abuse or violence, then call the cops.

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