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Kristen
writes, "I am a 49 year old wife,
mother and grandmother
of one. I have been
married for 19 years but my husband and I have been
together for 25 years and I am not sure that this man
really loves me. I have questioned this for as
many years as we have been together but we had kids.
I had to be a
good
mother and he is an excellent provider. I have said
for years that as soon as the kids are grown then I am
out of this marriage for good, but just as I said
that he went to prison and I couldn't leave him, he
needed my support and I was there for him, "ride or die
chick" I guess. See my husband is not a Native American
so I am not sure if this has anything to do with the way
he treats me. He disrespects my feelings big time to the
point where own grown children think that I am stupid.
Stupid is one thing that I am not. I held his
business together for more than seven years and now I
have
started my own business and it has been so difficult
to stay encouraged because I don't think that I have the
support as needed. Just to share a few things with
you. Our
daughter was taken from me by her father at nine
days old, taken to his family which lived thousands of
miles away and whenever I threatened to go get her, they
threatened me with taking her out of the country and all
of this because I wanted to leave him, so I was forced
to continue living with him without my newborn if I
wanted to ever see her again. By the way, the next
time I saw her she was a year old. Secondly, my mother
was dying and I relocated to care for her, which took
time from him and he made a comment "this
is why men cheat," he has
wandering eyes when I am around. I know that
you must think that I am the biggest fool. I had
kids to
raise and he was the provider and a
father to them. We tried never to argue around the
kids and to be honest, they have no idea of the things
that really took place with the two of us, because I had
to keep things together - they needed stability of a
two
parent home and my happiness was last while
raising
my family. Now everyone is grown and doing
their own thing. What about me? Do I
continue to be
unhappy or can I leave now?"
I
must say that you are a
great
mother and instead of calling yourself the "biggest
fool," you should be proud of what you have
accomplished as a mother and as a business owner.
Based on what you write, I think the time is right to
make
life about YOU. And that means that this man does
not fit into your future life. Your
responsibility as a mother is over and it is
time to
pay attention to your soul. So
get out of this broken marriage and do not look
back. I would not be surprised if many men would love to
be with you and build a life together. |
