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Summary:
Sandra was
duped by a married man in having a 4-month
relationship with her as he claimed that he was
separated
from his wife and was
planning to divorce her. When he got tired of her
and probably wanted to find another victim for his
extramarital affairs (apparently he is a
compulsive cheater), he gave the excuse that he
should be with his wife and children. As much as I
disliked his abusing Sandra's love for him and putting
his priorities ahead of hers, if we put ourselves in his
shoes, we can realize that he does not have many
options. He has
made wrong
choices in life all along and he is paying the price
for them and will pay even more going forward. I think
he should have thought of all of this before and never
entered Sandra's life knowing fully well that he was a
husband, a
father, and will not be able to simply leave it all
and build a
new life.
The other thing to remember is that different people
have different
expectations from marriage. While for most people
marriage may be meaningless without love, for his
wife, being together and maintaining the integrity of
the family is more important than a
couple being in love. That is why for her it does
not matter that her
husband does not love her as long as she can still
pretend to be a
happily married woman in the society.
Heartbroken and
disappointed Sandra shares her story below. |
The last
time I saw him, he said he would want to call me while
he was on
holiday with his family, and do I mind. One thing I
realized is that when you are in my position, being
the other
woman, you have to take everything your
married boyfriend says with a pinch of salt and that
he might not deliver on his promises.
And so right I was. Actually, to my shock, his wife
called me. She told me to
never call
her husband again. Then my boyfriend is on the line
and I could hear his wife in background saying, "Tell
her," and he says to me, "Sandra, you can never call me
again." I said, "I understand, I wish you all the best."
Which of course I meant but I cried my eyes out
afterwards. It was a bit of a relief that he said it and
I didn't give up on something that is beautiful between
us; he did. Later that day I received a text message (SMS)
from him in which he explained how he was
caught
cheating had no choice because she was standing
there.
I have never manipulated, threatened, forced him to call
me or see me and I feel sad for both of them that they
are together because
fear is the ruling factor. She is
fearful of losing him and he is fearful of losing
custody of the kids. I would never want to force my
partner to do or say anything he doesn't do on his own.
I am feeling very down now but I know myself, I will
pick myself up soon enough to
enjoy my life and and move forward, with or without
him. I have been through far worse than this in my life
and this is just another learning for me to find out
what I
don't want in a man. |
