| Leanne
is a
married woman who fell in love with a married man
more than 10 years ago. The two continued their
extramarital romance and for the sake of their
families remained married to their spouses, who knew
exactly what was going on. Now she is realizing that
what she did was not the best thing for her. She writes,
"After years of giving this man what I had and
destroying my marriage, I find out that nowadays he
hardly speaks to me and even makes an attempt to avoid
me by not even answering the
phone
when I call. Even when he talks his interest is only
sex. I feel that I am being used. I do not even
speak to my husband and our
marriage exists only as a show for the
sake of kids.
Do you think that this guy has been just using me or if
he truly loves me? He often tells me all the things that
he does for his wife and kids but he won't even buy me a
small
gift for my
birthday.
Feels like he has been mistreating me all these years
and I was too sentimental and
desperate for love not to figure it out. I can't any
more have a
normal marriage with me hubby any more and wonder
what is the right course of action for me now."
Married men who date other women are
taking advantage of them
You have a relationship with a man who
wants the best of both worlds. Actually most
married men follow exactly the same path. For
numerous reasons, they do not wants to upset their
family or their current setup but also want to
have a lover (or even lovers) on the side to
give them
sex. They generally
find women by using money or their status in the
society or by simply begging for sympathy by
criticizing their wives and women are either stupid
or kind enough to give them what they want in the hope
of
finding love or money to fund their
luxurious
lifestyles. When the other woman protests at some
point, they leave her like they never knew her and find
yet another naive, stupid or
greedy girl to take
advantage of. In the process, they often destroy lives
of many women because many spend years on them and then
are unable to
find
another man to marry or end up destroying their
marriages (like you).
I always tell
women not to fall in love with married men. And if
they do
date a married guy it is best to keep it
casual, fun and totally unemotional. I know women
find it so hard to do because by nature they are very
emotional beings.
Now getting back to your situation, your lover fits
somewhere in between. Because you did not get
love in your marriage, he took advantage of you and
you were naive enough to fall into his trap. Since you
two have been together for so long it will not be easy
for you to just leave him and pick up the pieces to
start a new life. Your situation is further
complicated by the fact that your
marriage is over for all practical purposes.
So give some thought to
what
you want the rest of your life to be. You have been
in this mess for many years now but it may be time to
reflect on
what
to do next. Analyze your options and see what you
really feel comfortable with and then write back to me
so that I can help you make a decision. |
