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Kimberly
writes, "For the past three years, the
man I have been in love with treats me horribly. He
started out so sweet, and then turned into a monster. He
argues with me about everything, he even blames his bad
days at work on me. If I go out, he calls me bad names,
he makes it so unpleasant to
have fun
with my friends that eventually I just don't go out
anymore. He says he loves to make my cry, and never
apologizes for the hurtful words he says. Other times,
he acts like the bad stuff never happened, and tells me
he loves
me. I stopped talking to him a year ago, and we
recently
had dinner to try and
be
friends. He told me he is seeing someone new. I
don't know what to do. I know this
man is
bad for me, but I still love the good side of him.
What should I do?"
Abusive
men know how to use love as tool of manipulation
Let me ask you this. I don't know if
you
smoke but even if you don't, you probably know that
it actually feels good to smoke (I have never touched a
cigarette but my
smoker friends tell me that it feels great to
smoke). And I am sure that you also know what it does to
your
health, particularly lungs. People get
breathing problems, often it turns to
lung
cancer, and smokers die much earlier than
non-smokers. So should anyone subject themselves to so
much risk just because it feels good for a while. The
answer is a big fat NO.
That is exactly your situation. I concede that no one is
perfect but generally speaking most of us have more good
than bad things. In case of your boyfriend, there is so
little good and it is mostly bad. He reminds me of my
brother-in-law, whom my wife and I call as an
emotional vampire. They do nothing but suck the energy
out of everyone around them and when they are
nice
to others, it is not because they are genuinely
nice;
that is just a devious plan by these
vampires
to get their victims attached to them.
If you have any
respect for yourself, and even a little bit of faith
that the world is full of nice, sweet people, just
end this relationship. I am hopeful that you will
find someone much better, but even if you don't, you
will be happier alone. You can start
reconnecting with friends that you do not hang out
with and work on your hobbies.
Write to me anytime (link is below) if you need to be
motivated and if you have questions/ comments or just
want someone to listen. |
