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| My boyfriend is always non-commital
He does not want to commit to anything
| Summary: Read below the
case of a woman who loves a man a lot more than he does
her. Actually, he might merely like her company
but is clearly
not sure if he wants a serious
relationship. While he may not want to be with her
forever, he has not thrown her out and continues to
indulge her, giving her false hope that he may actually
be tempted to consider committed relationship with her. |
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Debra
writes, "I am
turning 40, my ex boyfriend is 50. I had a
curiosity and attraction to him since the age of
16, but have lived away. I returned to his town,
and started to
live with him on
weekends, as a
getaway from the city, until I found my own
place in a year or so. I couldn't help it, but
the attraction was so strong for me, and I
started a
physical relationship with him. He was
confused when my
emotions started, and I assumed a
relationship had started. He is a
gentleman, and allowed me to
break up, and
come back, but whenever I asked him if he
had
feelings for me, the answer is no, but he
continued to
improve our relationship, through his
actions, and by saying he cares for me, and he
doesn't want us to
break up. He had never called me or made
plans with me, so after I had been away for a
few weeks I asked if why he wasn't calling meant
he didn't want me to come down, and he said
maybe. I asked if he was
breaking up with me, and he said, yes, I
guess. A couple of weeks later I went to get my
things, and I stayed the weekend. I
made my own space, and he kept
making passes at me, and of course I
relented. He was still adamant that we
break up, but he was surprised we could do
it so nicely. I still feel he has
feelings for me, but sees the
differences we have as impossible to work out.
He also deeply
regrets losing a woman 8 years ago, by not
doing enough to keep her. Is there any chance he
may have a change of heart with me? I
drunk-called him once, and we had
great conversation, as usual, but I said I
missed him and he ignored it. I'll stay
away, and not call as advised, and try to
move on, but
I
love him, probably, more than I should." |
|
 I think
he is a
good man and definitely likes your company. However,
that does not always mean that he
wants a relationship, which as you realize, is a
totally different game, with
woman demanding commitment, maybe
marriage,
children,
and everything else that one is expected to do as a
married couple, like
retirement planning.
I do not really think that he wants a
serious relationship and that could simply be
because of
what
he wants out of life going forward or due to
something else that may be going on. |
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On one hand, I am tempted to recommend
that you two explore an
open relationship in the sense that you can hang out
whenever you both can and feel like but are
free to date other people. In return,
no commitment is expected and no one should
fall in love. On the other hand, I am afraid that if he
were to agree to it, since you like him so much, you might
end up getting
stuck with him, and not focus on
finding
another man who will love you and be willing to
have a committed relationship.
It depends what you want. Will it be fine if you were
essentially single while you were able to enjoy his company
from time to time? Or would you rather have a strong,
reliable, steady,
monogamous relationship? In that case,
moving on
and trying to
meet other men is a better choice.
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