 Ramesh
writes, "I'm a guy of 26 and each time I
try having sex,
it's always disappointing. I'm hard during 70 percent of
foreplay but when it's time to do the real thing or put
a condom, I'm not hard enough. I actually began
having
sex only last year and the
first experience was awful. I
couldn't get it up when my
girlfriend undressed. Later
in the evening after she told me not to think about it,
she helped me get it up and we
made love but
I couldn't
last long enough. Some time ago, I had an embarrassing
moment with a
woman I picked up in a bar when I found it
difficult to get it up. I get morning
erections
regularly. I can also
get myself hard when I'm alone. I
don't want to start relying on
pills to
have sex.
Please, your advice could be a lifesaver."
Sex is
stressful for both men and women because there is this
pressure to
perform. Since you have been
having sex for
such a short period of time, you have the
anxiety common
among most men and women. Like anything else in life, we
get better at sex as we do it more often. The symptoms
that you are showing right now are merely signs of lack
of experience.
If
you are able to get a hardon when you are by yourself, my initial reaction is
that you do not have a physical condition. The
reason you lose your erections or are unable to get an
erection at all is because you are
scared or nervous
about sex. First of all, you have to make yourself
realize that
sexual performance is not a sign of who you
are as a
lover. I think your girlfriend understands that
and is very supportive. If this
woman truly loves you,
she knows that
sex will only get better with time as you
both become
comfortable with sex and each other. So try
to
have sex as often as you can with her and you will
see that like anything else in life, you get better with
practice. Most men have difficulty first few years and
even very experienced men will find that
good sex can be
a problem with a new
sexual partner. So just relax, take
a deep breath, know that nothing is wrong with you, and
make love to her as if you have known her your whole
life. It is also a great idea to confess to her that you
are still new to it and she will be more supportive and
understanding. |
