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| My older, married boyfriend puts his family
first
Am I just the other woman?
 Summary:
Dating a married man means that a woman will never own
the man completely regardless of what the man says.
In any case, when a man is cheating, he is lying a lot,
most likely about everything. While dating a
married man may serve a purpose at some point of time, a
woman should keep her expectations low. Indeed,
some men divorce their wives and marry their lovers, but
in most cases, men simply entertain themselves as long
as they can, go back to their wives, and look for their
next victim (yet another naive, young woman with a rosy
view of love). Read below the story of a younger
woman who is in love with a man old enough to be her
father and has difficulty accepting the fact that the
man needs to take care of his family too. |
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Emily, a
college student, is
in a
secret relationship with her much older,
married professor. She thinks that
she needs a
father figure in her life because of her
childhood spent in a broken family without good
role models. She writes, "We've been spending
quite a lot of time together on regular basis. I
used to meet him only three times a week, but
now I'll get to do that more often due to the
beginning of the autumn term. And naturally
we've got closer. But, he once mentioned that he
going to his
country home (his family lives
there), and that he has some household
obligations to fulfill. I objected and said that
his family stands above everything and he has
duties towards them. Then, after a second he
said that, he would be blamed for ruining me
anyway and that we wouldn't be accepted by the
society. I said that there are people who have a
different opinion on it (now I regret that I
said this). He said that that's only a facade
and we would be
rejected, especially by his
children. I said that now his
family is most
important and then he looked at me lovingly and
hugged me. He has made remarks like these, but I
didn't take them too seriously. I am getting
cautious now, because my grandfather also got
attracted to a woman, of his age though, but,
nevertheless, he got distracted from us and even
hostile towards us. Well, I saw
him and his wife
together and they seemed happy. Anyway, I'd love
to have some advice." |
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| I know you are a
mature girl and
obviously know that your
relationship with him has
consequences for both him and you. As you can
understand, if he is spending all this time with you,
being romantic to you, and
having sex, he is not doing
that with his wife. Since they are old, I would not be
surprised that his wife did not even notice the change
or does not mind the
lack of sex due to aging, but it is
hurting their marriage to some extent. Now because you
are a good girl and do not
ask for money or
expensive
gifts or
exotic vacations (something that
mistresses
always ask), it is not a problem but if he were to have
as a conventional
mistress,
he would be taking money from his family
and giving it to you. So in summary, having this
relationship with you maybe hurting his wife and family
to some extent but probably not much. However, for the
happiness of his wife and family (and eventually his),
he will need your support. So I would suggest that try
to compromise so that he can meet his commitments.
Remember that you cannot get over-attached to him
because he is not really your man. He is someone else's
husband and dad first and only then a
special friend of
yours. So enjoy what you get but you will have to work
within limits set by the situation. |
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| Related:
My friends make fun of my older husband
Friends make fun of older husband
My married lover dumped me
I have doubts about marrying an older man
My husband
is ignoring me |
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