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Marie
writes, "Being in a
dysfunctional marriage, I
hooked up with a
married guy who said that he was also
unhappy in his marriage. I already
feel very much in love with this man. While I knew
that we are trying to have an
extramarital affair, unlike me, he is a
player.
Just to check his
commitment, I pretended to be another girl and
opened a fake account on the
online personals website he is on and emailed him.
He immediately responded and tried so hard to
pick
me up and date this fake girl. I was
trying to see the reaction he has. He would respond to
her in the morning and then continue
flirting with me over the phone and email. So far I
don't see any future in it. His
wife
delivered a baby the week before last and right
after that he was back texting me, this fake girl and
maybe other women he has relationships with. It is
downright disgusting for me to realize this but I guess
I am vulnerable now and falling for this horror of a
man. How can I continue after a man who is texting other
women and his wife of two years is in the hospital with
a newborn? It is so disgusting. I have not seen him in a
week, but we still text. He seems to be
treating me as a friend now. I am sort of sad about
that but yet I know it is good for me in a way that it
is getting me out of a destructive relationship. Even
knowing that he likes to have
multiple
partners is not helping me
get over him. This is a sad thing but true! While we
have been
making out, I have
not had sex with him but he is trying to do whatever
he can to
get into bed with me. What I am afraid here is I
will get so
emotionally attached to him and this was the main
reason I wanted to break off from him. I am afraid I
will end up
falling in love with a man who I can never have a future
with; besides he is coming across as a
compulsive
sex addict to me."
She is
hoping that by not seeing him for a while, she should be
able to cool off her feelings for him. She
continues, "Though, I feel sad that I am
giving up this relationship in which I felt such
great
chemistry. I am only
looking for love and cannot seem to find it in my
marriage at all. Friends have suggested that I have this
relationship and keep it unemotional. I don't think that
will be possible for me to do. I feel that I will feel
this way with anyone I am
physically intimate with so it will be better for me
to be with someone who is available. But I am also
thinking that I may not get this
connection
with another person easily. That is a chance I
will have to take anyway. I should just resign myself to
the
life of limited intimacy I have with my husband and
go on with life like this. I should perhaps not complain
and try to be a
better wife/mother and
get a full
time job and
improve
my career. My husband cares about me enough already
in his own terms and perhaps I should just accept that
as my fate and continue with my life as it is. I should
become
financially independent first and foremost - in the
long term this will be good for me. I just don't know
what to
do with my life. I am in an
unhappy
marriage and
feel so trapped that I cannot
find love.
Where do I go from here?"
Married men who cheat typically
plan to stay with their wives
Since
women are
by nature very emotional beings, most of them find
it nearly impossible to
be in a relationship with a man without the
emotional connection. I also know that it will be
possible for you to have an emotional and
physical relationship with single or married man
without having to deal with a
sex addict. There are a lot of
good men out there who are in situations like yours
-- wife, family, kids, home, etc but no emotional/sexual
fulfillment --- and all they want is a more
fulfilling relationship with a woman without
jeopardizing their or the woman's life. It won't be easy
to
find that man but if you look hard and long enough,
you will. I know women in your situation who have such
men (kind of the male version of a
mistress). They just don't hang out on websites
where
married men and
married women want to hook up for casual sex. You
are currently in love with a
polyamorous man who also happens to be so
charming (that he has made you fall in love with him
despite knowing what kind of a man you are dealing with)
that he can play with dozens of women at the same time.
The sad reality is that he will
dump you
in a heartbeat and have no respect for your love for
him.
How to find love when your husband
does not give it to you?
This is what I would like you to do. As soon as you
possibly can,
end your relationship with this man completely. The
sooner you are over him, the sooner you can focus on
finding love with another man who will love you back
and not treat you like a sex object. In the meantime, I
also have a tip from many of my female readers: buy a
good sex toy; it is reliable, faithful, and works
better than a man when it comes to
orgasms.
Secondly, unless you are married to a
billionaire, I would strongly encourage you to do
what you can and need to do to become independent
so that when the time is right, you can just
leave your husband and be FREE. If you put together
a plan, maybe within a few months or years you will be
able to finally leave him and
take charge of your life. At that point you will not
have to deal with these creeps on the Internet but can
find
love with a man on your own terms.
I am a strong believer in
empowered women who are willing to
live each day the fullest extent possible and rather
then giving up and accepting their fate, they are ready
to
fight for a better future for them. I want you to be
that woman so that I can be proud of you and you can
tell yourself that you
have a good life. |
