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"The risks, I know. But the
option of 'not exploring' is not possible. This isn't
such a special or unusual guy. The issue is I
think there is
something lacking in my marriage which I
need to find out what in order to appreciate mine fully.
I will inform my husband of my decision prior to
embarking on an affair. He wouldn't be happy but I think
he would understand as we have
known each other since
late teens. And I am constantly looking for
new
challenges and can be a bit of a little loose cannon.
And yes, I do know that if the reverse was suggested to
me (such as
husband telling me he would like to meet
other girls), it may take time for me to get my head
around and a lot of
confidence may be damaged. But
trust
is the essence.
Why do I need to go down this path? I do not know. I
don't think I have liked any other type than my
husband's type. Most of my
men are strong and driven.
They hunt, rather than be hunted. The
musician type is
indeed interesting, but perhaps apart from passion,
which I imagine will not be a long-term attraction;
there is not more that they can add to my interest. Of
course there is that risk that the
musician type may be
more than I knew, and I could be
addicted for life. My curiosity gets the better of me.
This may also be about me. It is about my
flagging
confidence as a sensuous woman. Every
woman at her
mid-thirties wants to feel desirable and in control.
This exercise may be about conquering and reinstating
power over men. While some
women go out to buy clothes
and
cosmetics, I feel I need to exert that exercise by
using
mental seduction. I think it may well be about
power over other people.
The second part of my query is advice on
seduction. If
you were an attractive French man, who is reserved, new
to the country you now work in, not fluent in the
working language, confident enough to not stick with
other fellow French, open enough to meet others in the
office,
loves music,
concerts and
night club, alcohol
and any new
adventures (the sort that says why would I
want to mingle with fellow French when I have come all
this way to
learn about a new culture?) -- what would
attract you to your married, rival colleague who is
never out of line, straight and mainstream in her career
and constantly surrounded by others for decisions (and
gay friends for lunch)?
I do not want anything long term with anyone, I would
like to be
seductive and know when I have succeeded,
just short of committing an irreversible
adultery.
Certainly a disclosed affair. Is that possible? Can one
naively think
it is possible to get away without the public knowing? I
expect the
affair would have a great impact on me, maybe
a loss in trust or respect from my family, or maybe not,
as there will be a greater understanding in what I want
in
life and I can then delineate it better."
I
support your decision to
explore an extramarital
relationship. However, based on enormous experience in
this area, I would discourage you from
sharing it with
your husband unless you do have a very
open relationship
(which I doubt considering your discomfort with the
reverse scenario). The way you are afraid of trust and
confidence in the relationship, it might be hurt even if
your husband understands and supports. I have always
believed that if a partner does not need know, there is
no need to share that information with him or her. In
case you continue to be with your husband, which appears
very likely, you will have a lifelong problem. In any
case, it is your decision
since you know him better than I do.
There must be many reasons
why this
man is drawn to you. It is incredible how little
things
can draw a man to a woman. Maybe the things that you
find so unattractive about you (never out of line,
straight and mainstream in her
career) maybe the reasons he is attracted to you. As you
explore more, you will find out what did he like about
you.
You are still very early in the process and that is why
it is still better that it be kept a secret. I think
considering that he is French (who are perfect for an
extramarital affair since that is fairly
common in
France) and knows that you are married, it will be easy
to gain his discretion. After a while, you may have some
decisions to make, though, and that would be a good time
to disclose it to those close to you. If this is just an
adventure for you and you plan to end it once you have
succeeded, then, it is too early to risk your reputation
and trust because nothing may come out of it. For all we
know, after one
weekend in Paris with him, you may not
want him any more.
Related:
Can I cheat if my husband travels a lot
How to hit
on a married woman?
Should I
seduce my brother in law?
I love a
married Catholic woman
How to seduce a married woman?
Secret
relationship with married woman |
