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| My husband shouts at me
He is mostly normal but can be very abusive at times
| Summary: If men are
abusive, mean, nasty, and in general, just mistreat
their wives, it is because they let them behave that
way. Obviously, many men have personality problems
and need professional help, but a self-confident, bold
woman can simply stand for her rights and demand that
she be treated with respect if he wants to be in a
marriage. |
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Janet
writes, "I am a 23 year old and have been
married
for 5 years but do not
have kids yet. My
husband
sometimes is really
sweet and affectionate but
other
times when I don't do as he says or I tell him
something he does not like, he gets really mad,
dominant, and
aggressive. He starts yelling and cussing me
out, he calls me
names and says he is
tired of me and our
relationship and that he wants to
leave me but
he never does. I know he loves me and I love him
a lot but I don't
know what gets into him when he gets mad. I
don't know what to do because when he calms down
I try talking to him and he says he is going to
change but he never does. He has never hit me
but he has gotten to push me against the
wall. Please help me. I don't know what to do. I
have told him we should go to
marriage
counseling but he doesn't want to go. What
should I do? I don't
want to leave him but I am
desperate to change this situation." |
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It appears to me that it is not that
your marriage is in trouble, it is that this
man has an
anger management issue. Therefore, rather than
marital
counseling, I would suggest that he needs to try
anger
management therapy. He will learn how to deal with his
anger and
how not to take it out on his wife, and for
all we know, he could be
abusing his colleagues and
friends too.
In the meantime, when he is in a good
mood, you must
tell him that his behavior is unacceptable and set some
rules for his behavior. For example, you can tell him
that when he has crossed the line with his temper, you
will signal by making a hand gesture (it could be
something simple like putting your hand on your nose)
and it would mean that he needs to stop or else you will
call the
cops. The reason he has continued with his nasty
behavior is because he has got away with it so far. You
have to stand up for your dignity and let him know that
his actions have consequences, that if he
abuses you
like this, you are offended. Thankfully, you do not
have
kids yet, because such
behavior in the house sets a
really bad example for kids who imitate such behavior
and develop all kinds of
behavioral disorders. |
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| Related:
My husband suffocates me
My husband is a narcissist
I love my abusive boyfriend
How to deal with an obnoxious guy |
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