David writes,
"I am what you are calling as a
loser and
no one is even dating me. I am 26, live by myself,
have a job, but no real friends. I have never had a
girlfriend before. I have never even been on a "real
date." My co-workers and classmates, are constantly
making fun of me. My
looks, personality...everything. This has not stopped
since I was in kindergarten. I feel useless and an afraid
of dying single. Please help." (Related:
My husband is a loser)
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I am glad that
you have taken the
first step to changing your life. From here on, it
will be easy. You are in this situation because you have
let other people do this to you - from today onwards,
promise me that you will be the
master of your own life and no one will take advantage
of you. Indeed, you were bullied and are still being
bullied to some extent, but you should have fought back
and must do it now. Here are a few things that you need to
do:
I have
no idea
how you dress and look, but the first thing to do is
to get a decent hair cut and
build your wardrobe that is simple, elegant, and
stylish - not necessarily expensive. There is no reason to
go nuts buying
Italian designer suits but, trust me, having a good
hair cut, shaving daily, and wearing simple, clean clothes
and
shoes makes a huge difference in
how confident you feel and look. And others will
notice it too. When you dress like a winner, you are
half-way there. |
 There
are several books that you can buy on manners and
self-esteem so that you can learn a few basic things
to behave like a normal guy. All you need are
confidence, knowledge of
etiquette, and how to be polite to others.
Get
rid of the negative people around you. If these
folks make fun of you,
you
do not want to be around them. I know you can't
right away change jobs, but as you make
improvements, new doors will open for you and you
might even be able to change jobs and move ahead.
Do
you
regularly workout? If not, start it. Unless
you want to, there is no reason to even do it at
the gym. You can do simple exercises right in your
home using an
exercise video. Working out helps you stay fit
and
lower your stress level.
If you have no
female
friends, bars are not the places to find them. I have
found that the best way to
make friends is to go to the same place consistently
so that people
start
trusting you. And the best way to do that is to join a
charity organization and help out - every organization
needs volunteers. For example, if you want, you can help
out at a local library or a blood bank. Not only will you
feel good about yourself, it is a great way to meet people
and
make friends.
The
other trick to meeting good people is to join a hobby
oriented group or classes. For example, I am taking video
films lesson as I just bought a
digital video camera and want to upload some
video clips on
the Internet. I spend time with a few people during the
class but then I hook up with others for shooting and
editing practice later on. We hang out together and have
made a few great friends who are so similar to me. Since
this is only a hobby, rather than joining a local
university, look for adult education classes at the local
high school.
When
these things mentioned above happen, trust me, women will
come to you - you will become a
chick magnet. You will either meet them directly or
others will introduce someone to you because they will see
that you are simply a great guy.
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