Rehana
writes, "I had an
arranged marriage with my husband I
gave birth to a daughter soon after. However when
she was 8 months old my husband started coming home late
and not picking calls from me. When I asked for an
explanation, he said that he
didn't love me that much and moreover he wanted to
find happiness. After three months, I realized that
he was going to
marry another woman, his
ex-girlfriend. I was devastated but since we are
Muslims,
marrying more than one woman is acceptable. He
deserted me and our daughter and started living with
this woman. I need your help because recently he came
back pleading that I
take him back and that he still loves me. What do I
do? I still
have
feelings for him but he betrayed me and our
daughter."
I am
always skeptical of an
ex-husband trying to come back to his wife and in
your case I am even less optimistic because your
marriage was so brief. If you two had been
married for a long time during which you two had a
wonderful relationship and if he had left you, I
would have understood that he wanted to get back, but
from what you say it appears that you two never really
had time to
fall in deep love or really
enjoyed each other's company.
To me
it seems that
being with the other woman has made him realize that
you are a
better woman or that
woman has started to mistreat him or that he just is
unhappy with her and he is now assuming that since
you are a simple, or probably, stupid woman, he can have
you.
You
are not a
toy
that he can play with whenever he feels like. You are a
human being with a heart and if you take him back, there
is no guarantee that he will
give
you his undivided love. He is a very
SELFISH man for whom
nothing is more important than his own happiness. He
first used you and then left you to use another woman.
Now he wants to use you again. This
man is a narcissist and cannot be trusted that what
he is saying is the truth.
I
know life maybe difficult for you as a
single mother but I still think that you are better
off this way than being with this selfish
man who abused you in the past and wants to
abuse you for the rest of your life. Do not forget
what he told you before: that he did not love you, that
his
happiness was more important than yours, and
that he did not care if his
daughter grew up without a father. For him now to
come and
ask for
your love is nothing but a devious plan to
find the next woman to take advantage of. Just ask
him to go on with his life and leave you and your
daughter alone so that you can have a normal life. |
