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Suzanne
writes, "My boyfriend of 5 years left me a year and half
ago for someone he met in
rehab. He
broke up
with her in a few months and then kept asking me
take him back. He has been back with me for 3 months
but I am still
having a
trust issue. I see that he often sends her text
messages or stays in touch with her through
Facebook.
He says it doesn't hurt to be
friends with an ex. Should I
trust
him, and if so, how do I get over this?"
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I
understand your concerns. Personally, I do not
think it is a big deal to
stay in touch with an ex (though, in a
perfect world, it wouldn't happen) if it only
through an occasional phone call or email or
Facebook. Honestly, think about this, if he
wanted to cheat with someone, he would be
easily able to do so and you wouldn't even know
about it. |
So don't get too bogged down with his
contact with this woman because if he wants he can
cheat with other
women while you would be
losing sleep over this one person.
Yes,
trust has been broken by him and it is his
responsibility to rebuild it, but if he says so, give
him another chance without bias. The more
paranoid you
get about his interactions with women, the more
sleep
you will lose over it but wouldn't be able to
control his behavior. Just make him aware that
in-person meeting are totally unacceptable (the simple
rule that my wife and I follow is that if we cannot
bring our
friends of the opposite sex to a family gathering,
something is fishy), and that if he violates the
agreement, you are not
taking him
back if he is ever
caught cheating,
but beyond that leave him alone and give him some
privacy.
Related:
Relationship with an ex
Compulsive cheaters
I love
a player
Should I have an affair
Should I trust my husband after cheating?
I have a hunch that my boyfriend is cheating
Is
it time to leave my husband
Should
I be patient with my husband
My husband cheats but I do not want to leave him
I am pregnant but my boyfriend is cheating |
