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There is
nothing wrong about
picking the things that we want. Men do have a
problem though - they want
sexy women but then the expect them to 'think like
men.' Unfortunately that combination is so hard
that all those women who have them are gone as soon as
someone figures out that about them. They are either
celebrities,
writers, or just
wives of really rich men. We have to be realistic -
certain types of people either do not exist or exist in
such small numbers that they are hard to find. What to
do? Well compromise. Go with what is the best that you
can have. How about working with that person and trying
to make him/her more like you? How about reveling in the
beauty of difference? And how about just getting over
the
myth that to be liked by men, women have to think
like men.
Well it looks like Charles did take my
advice and is about to meet some
Japanese woman in Hawaii. He informed me, "I do
expect a lot of women to think like men. I also
primarily
seek out Japanese women and despite the fact that I
do know a lot about the
Japanese culture and language, I continue to face
one problem - that because I'm a
gaijin,
Japanese women only see me as gaijin and not
a person as I see them. We will talk, laugh and share
things about each other but in the end the women seem a
bit stand-offish no matter how good it goes. The kicker
is they themselves have told me this only after great
deal of questioning. I am a
nice guy,
I
treat women with respect and honor, the same as I
wish to be treated but I still do not get the response
that I would like. I need to know what do Japanese women
want out of gaijin men usually?"
Accordingly, you are likely to see
these
cultural differences causing a
lot of pain. Compounding the problem is the fact
that we Japanese are not so open with our feelings so
even if you try to reach to the bottom of the soul we
are just not used to
opening our souls to other human beings. What I
would suggest is that you should respect the level of
intimacy and the boundaries that these women set. As
long as you do not cross that you will be just fine - we
tend not to get too close to people, it's just the way
life is in Japan. Read the signals that we send out
and just back off and you will do just fine. |
