How to enjoy my relationship with younger man?

All I do is worry about our age gap

Summary: Below is a classic case of women who make their lives complicated by worrying about something to a point that if it were not to happen, it would because they wish it so hard. When you have found love, why waste time agonizing over the future. Live in the moment. Life is here and now. Who has seen the future?

Image of a mature cougar with a young dude

Patricia writes, "I am in a relationship with a 24 year old man. I myself am 44 years old. He is absolutely wonderful and treats me fabulously. I love him with all my heart. The problem is that, there isn't a day goes by that I don't worry about the age gap and my aging so much faster than he. I, like many other that I have read about, worry about him leaving for a younger woman. He says he could care less about the age gap and he has no interest in the immaturity of women his own age. We have lived together for over a year now and for the most part (other than my constant worry) it has been wonderful. We go out places and he treats me just like any boyfriend would. He is very loving and affectionate in public and around his friends (that are his own age). I can no longer have children and he says he doesn't want any children. I fear that he will one day decide he does want children. When I mention this to him, he just says that we could adopt a child. Is it normal for me to worry so much about this? Do you believe that a relationship with this large of a gap can actually last a lifetime? I would really love to be able to just sit back and enjoy what we have together instead of the constant worry. When we are together, I enjoy every minute of it, but the minute we are apart, I start to worry again. Neither of my kids nor his family have an issue with our age difference. I am continually told that age is just a number and truly want to believe that. I just feel like being with someone so young actually makes me feel older at times. He is by far and away better to me than any other man I have been with."

I get emails like this from women all the time and I might have responded to 100s of women in exactly the same situation. My answer is always the same and straightforward.

Unless you are fabulously wealthy and this man is a gold-digger, chances are that this man knows what he is doing. In other words, if he has chosen you and not a 20 year old, there is a reason. He likes you for who you are, wrinkles and sagging breasts included. He also understands that you will not be able to carry his child and will have all the health issues that women have as they reach their 50s, 60s, and so on.

What is the guarantee that a man 44 years old is not going to leave you for a younger woman? Or just leave you for no reason? So do I know that this relationship will last a lifetime? I am not being cynical here but I don't even know if the sun will come up tomorrow morning. I am one of those people who is convinced that predicting the future is a waste of time. I like to live in the present because that is real.

My advice to you would be stop worrying and start living. What you have now (a great boyfriend), women will do anything to have even for a day. So by rejecting this wonderful man, you will simply be making your own life difficult and break his heart. And he is right that age is just a number and I am sure he is not the only one making you feel older. We are always surrounded by situations and circumstances that make us feel younger and older so it is a pointless exercise to compare yourself against only young people. If you are feeling too old, just volunteer one hour a week at your local seniors center and you will feel young. It is all in our heads really.

So promise me that from now on you will not hold his age against him and become age-agnostic. Give him back the love that he gives you and enjoy every moment of it because life is too short and precious to agonize over the uncertain future. I doubt if Linda Hogan ever thinks like you.

Talk to Jay

Style notebook Fashion and style Japanese cute Romance

Men lifestyle Lifestyle Green life Family

Juicy Stuff Product reviews Life in pictures Privacy

Women lifestyle Plastic surgery Cooking channel Search

Personal Finance Celebrity gossip Beautiful you MYNIPPON