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In
Japan, a lot of older people dislike or don't understand
how the younger generation acts or dresses these days.
Typically, a lot of women have trouble dealing with their
in-laws because the way they think is different from the
previous generation. This is often portrayed in articles
in magazines designed for women. Usually in these
articles, depending on who it is targeted at (whether
young daughters-in-law or middle aged ladies who are the
mothers-in-law) it has reports about these issues with the
right spin. The magazines often gather anonymous reports
for these kinds of articles since no one wants to be seen
as criticizing one’s family members. Here is an example.
A woman in her 20s dislikes that her mother in law wants
her to have children. Young women in Japan these days
think that not having children is perfectly
acceptable way of life. So basically they think that
having children should be optional when you get married,
not mandatory. But the older generation thinks that
you have to have children. The woman in her 20s
expressed her opinion as, "I didn't get married just
to have children."
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Then
there are other instances when the mothers-in-law complain
about the young brides. An older woman reported, "I
don't like how my daughter-in-law goes to these
nail
salons and gets her nails
done. I don't mind nail polish,
but long nails decorated heavily.... I don't know about
that. Especially when she has to cook with those long
nails." In these kinds of situations, even
celebrities are not spared. Reports of celebrities not
getting along with their in-laws are common in magazines
about celebrities.
The pop singer Namie Amuro got divorced
in the summer of 2002. But about a year before her
divorce, these magazines were reporting that she has not
been getting along well with her in-laws. It reported that
her mother-in-law dislikes the fact that she has light
brown hair, wears short
skirts, and that she doesn't
cook that much. Namie Amuro replied to the magazine, "My
hair color and the way I dress is my style. I'm not
willing to change it. As for the meals, I try to cook
as much as I can but when you're working, it's hard
to cook three meals a day."
There
was even a drama on TV a few years ago about these
kinds of family relationships, especially among the
in-laws. It was called "Kid's war”. The story is
about a woman named Haruko who is an ex-gang member. She
has a daughter named Akane.
Haruko just got married to a man named Daisuke. Daisuke's
wife died when Daisuke's children were young, so Daisuke's
mom (Haruko's mother-in-law) took care of the children.
Haruko's mother-in-law thinks that getting into good
colleges and good kindergartens are important. When Haruko
was pregnant with her second child, Haruko's mother-in-law
forced her to go to classes that teach the baby to become
a genius. But Haruko thinks that is wrong. Getting into
good colleges isn't everything.
I
just hope that someday these kinds of problems will
disappear. It's important to understand that there are
many ways of life. In
the industrialized world, I would not be surprised if
Japanese women have the most difficult lives.
They are still fighting for their basic rights.
While they are clearly discriminated by corporate
Japan, it is unfortunate that even at home they have to
fight for basic freedom.
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