As children enter into puberty a number of changes take place that affects their bodies and minds. While physical change may at first be most evident, changes in the thought process are taking place as well. These changes generally occur earlier in girls, and therefore, most frequently girls reach different levels of maturity before their male counterparts. I think that in most large families with teenagers of both sexes, the girls are more apt to become reliable baby-sitters before their brothers, even if they are two or three years younger. This would be because, in general, the girls will be expected to be better decision makers overall and also better suited to mind small children.  

Let’s return now to shopping. Enter a shopping mall or large department store and you will be confronted with choices of many kinds. Food, apparel and all other trinkets of many sorts are offered for sale. If you take this matter seriously, perhaps there is a limited family budget or some other constraint, you must choose wisely and be able to deal with the fact that your purchases have consequences, such as decreasing the cash in your wallet/pocketbook. Two items may appear nearly identical, but one needs to be sure which is actually going to be bought and which left behind. This is where males are more apt to make snap decisions. Their inherited survival techniques will reinforce a perceived need to act decisively. An internalized pressure will begin to build as somewhere a threat must be lurking, like some well disguised predator ready to snatch the prize. If there is only one prize to be had then there will be haves and have-nots. I suggest that after a prehistory of countless generations men are focused on the act of acquisition. Whether he is providing himself with the necessities of life, or providing for a family, the male will use his talents to safely secure the prize. Hunting and fishing trips are judged unsuccessful if he returns empty handed. In many pre-industrial societies such a man will be shunned by his wife, both emotionally and physically. (Now there’s a place where creating boundaries can really hurt.)  

Shopping with women is not going to be a hunting trip. The expedition may be surrounded by as many stylistic rituals as hunting, but the do-or-die mentality will not be overwhelming. Women are going to require time for decision making and comparison. If you’re going to eat a certain cut of meat or some bunch of produce you won’t (extreme circumstances set aside) settle for anything but the very best you can afford. And when it comes to apparel or cosmetics every possible choice must at least be considered. This will take a great deal of time and discussion if female friends or relatives happen to be shopping with you. You’ll have to examine the look and feel of everything before it passes the test. Stringency will be an utmost concern. Sharing opinions has to be included. While women may seek to out-do their perceived competitors, friends and the advice they provide will be of great importance. That the process takes longer than a man’s is of little consequence. Haste is indeed very likely to make waste. I’d be curious to know if Benjamin Franklin discovered that on his own or if it was something he learned from his wife, or one of his other multitudinous “lady-friends.” Disagree with me if you must, but I know many men who flatly refuse to shop with female significant-others. They prefer to stay at home mowing grass, playing with hastily purchased toys (which they inevitably tire of), or doing nothing whatsoever. During these times men are apt to long for their bachelorhood, when the rapid acquisition of a female consumed every conscious moment.  

And what other ritual is better suited to include in our discussion than “shopping” for a mate? Men are more likely to brag about the desirability of their prize, how she excels in sought-after feminine qualities, and is the most prized of prizes. His pursuit will be on his own, rejoining male company if only to tell “fishing stories” about the expertise required to make it all happen. A woman using this same approach will be overwhelmed with so many men biting at the hook that she will likely drown. The sheer weight of so many men in the boat will sink it. A woman will get a good idea of a man’s background first, get to know his friends and family, inquire in a number of ways about his character and personality, dig up the dirt in his past, and then allow him to pursue her while her girlfriends look on from a discreet distance. Knowing that men don’t come with warranties, it is a good choice.

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