We have been often asked by women how they can attract men. As part of our ongoing research, we heard from hundreds of men. The main issue that we need to address are the following:

(1) What do men seek from women?
(2) Do they prefer cute or attractive women?
(3) Depending on what they prefer, how can women make sure that they create the right image in their mind?

What do men want?

Compared to approximately 10 years ago, more and more men are marrying women not for the sole purpose of raising families.  They are also interested in having them as intimate friends. This is clearly a new trend since men have found it difficult to connect with women on that level. Men have found it hard to communicate with women at the same level as they do with men.  Just hide a microphone in a room full of guys and within minutes they will start to talk to as if they have known each other for ages.  Put just woman in the room and the dynamics completely changes.

Cute or attractive?

The reasons that men are still so reluctant to connect with women are many. They think that women do not see the world the way they can see.  They find women too emotional and focused on the soft stuff that should not matter in the first place.  And above all, they do not like the fact that women are not interested in TV, sports, cars, and beer.  While cute style turns them off somewhat, they find attractive women to be intimidating.  Maybe the Japanese women might have found a good balance, though.  In a style that is called "Erokawa," (conjunction of the English words "erotic" and "kawaii"), which means "cute, but sexy," they can be both.  (Related:  How to find a boyfriend?)

Our research shows that men want a subtly cute style in public and attractive style in private.  Men find it easier to handle a attractive woman in private than in front of other people.  And believe us, in our survey, no man indicated that he would like to talk, dress, and behave like a man.  Even some serious-types confessed that they find powerful women intimidating.  They expressed their fears that might like to go out with such women and less likely to do business with them.  (Related article:   Say you are cute with your laptop computer)

How to project the right image?

Borrow a little from everywhere! Here are a few things that you can do to get your image right:

(1) A clean, professional look is a must. Thus, dressing appropriately for the occasion is very important.   While you do not have to sacrifice your femininity, you do not have to be a "man."  You should be proud of your womanhood and use it to your advantage rather than feel that you have to be like men to deserve the respect that you deserve even as a woman.  In our interviews, almost all men indicated that they do not think that opening doors for women or paying for a woman's meal makes any difference in how they see women.

(2) Being cute is a combination of looks and attitude. To get the right look, focus on your dress, accessories, and modern-looking makeup. A business suit is definitely not the right way to project a cute image but since it has become the standard wardrobe for business meetings, you should wear it when appropriate.  However, be creative. If you need to use a business suit, try adding a cute blouse.  Never forget the accessories - jewelry, scarf, watch, handbag, umbrella, handkerchief, etc.  While you can wear what suits your skin but going without any makeup is probably a bad idea.

(3) Other rules to project the cute image: let him have his chance to speak, never interrupt, listen, ask questions, maintain only limited eye contact, and just be polite. It will also help a great deal if you can make positive comments on his looks and laugh at his jokes in romantic setting. There is no reason to be a 'talking doll' but you will have tremendous success if you can simply be a pleasant person to be around.

(4) Remember what we said before? You can be attractive in private. So make sure that you wear the right underwear. It should not only be clean, it should be high-quality. So invest some money in revamping your lingerie chest if you wish to succeed with men.  You need to be confident and sassy without making him feel "not good enough."  Men are trained to think that it is their job to please the woman so you will get plenty of opportunity to just lie down and enjoy. However, you can make their task easier by letting them know your preferences.

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