Secrets of Great Relationships

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Secrets of great relationships
Love, honesty, and commitment

By Pierre Coda

While most people seem to get too stressed out by their jobs I think that they are committing a big mistake by ignoring how critical their personal relationship is. In my opinion, a job is just a job. In the current business environment, your employer can lay you off - just like that. Or if you find another job, you can just pack up your belongings and move on to the next employer. After all, it is only a job. If you do not like it, you can just move on.

But what about your partner? For those who are married, here is the question - how did you feel when you were on your honeymoon and how do you feel now? Do you still feel the same? For those who are still dating - remember the first time you smiled at each other? Do you want to marry this person because you genuinely love him/her?

While we all wish to have a fairytale romance, in reality our relationships are rocky. Often we get too upset by small things. Or we fight over petty matters. In fact we are just not focusing on what is important and are too worried about what is minor. The famous author, Dr. Michael Webb, whom I admire a lot and have recommended other books written by him, has summarized secrets of his marriage in a highly readable book. While I would strongly encourage you to talk to other couples who you think have great relationships, it is still a good idea to read Dr. Michael Webb's widely recommended and acclaimed book "50 Secrets of a Blissful Relationship" wherein he has distilled the message in a highly concise, easy-to- understand format so that you can start implementing the suggestions in your relationship right away. Several of my clients have read the book and I have helped them implement the suggestions provided in the book. The one area of the book that has been my favorite is related to criticism of your partner. If he or she always leaves the bathroom dirty and you feel like pointing that out, it will cause a big brawl and and both of you will be hurt. But there is a way to achieve a highly positive result (everyone cleans the bathroom for the next person) by taking a totally different strategy - positive criticism which not only will give you what you want but your partner will also thank you for that criticism. (Related article: What type of personality do women like in men?)

If you are single, do not forget that you will soon be in a relationship and it is not a bad idea to learn ahead of time what makes a relationship blissful. In my opinion, if you apply the simple test - will I be able to have a blissful relationship with this individual? - you will actually be better off in the long run. Dr. Webb actually has written a few chapters exclusively for people who are not into a relationship yet and want to prepare themselves for one.

As always, once you have read the book, do drop me a line to tell me how it has improved your relationship. And of course, also tell me what new techniques did you discover!