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Love
letter to Gackt
From
a fan in Mexico
By Ixchel
G. Villavicencio Dear
Gackt,
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I
know this is just another fan writing about you and you
probably receive so much fan mail that you might not even
read them all. I
hear that girls line up wherever you go just to get a
glimpse of you. I
am sure many of them will do anything just to be able to
touch you but you will never do that. But who cares. Here, in Mexico, nobody can bother you if you
quietly came. You
probably do not worry about your fans in Mexico since there
are so few of us. Here
in Mexico, you’re just a vague dream for me, my only way
to feel you behind your music and a few words written on a
paper. My
only way to know you is while driving at night, sometimes
thinking of everything, sometimes thinking nothing…
sometimes remembering, sometimes dreaming. |
 My
way to touch you is through a sad sound of piano, through a
profound voice singing to the void, my way to understand you
is crying with the third song of Mars album, knowing that I
can feel the pain with the words floating in the time.
So
many minds around you, but nobody can reach you, not
completely. I
tried to have a way to know you, just watching the night
view of the city. I
tried to be logical and perceptive, without success,
that’s the real mystery around you. I can’t know what
you are thinking when your eyes are lost in the darkness of
your room. I
can’t know what you are feeling while the candle’s flame
is trembling, while those shadows are around you. The real
charm of Gackt is being that lonely child, that silent
man… My only way to see you is to imagine the smell of
your
fragrance and how you feel that smell go trough your
veins, like if you could smell it with your skin.
I
have so many friends, that just like to hear you singing and
watch you dancing, I’m not interested in just that; what I
really wanted was to feel your joy and your sadness, the way
that you felt when Kami laughed, the things that make you
crawl.
I
know I’m so ambitious, but the best thing of all is that I
know that you’re like the wind, so free, losing yourself
in a ray of light, rising like the moon, belonging to
nobody…
I
wish I could express myself more clearly, but the walls of
the language are unpredictable.
When I learn Japanese maybe I could say everything I
wish to say, or maybe even in my native Spanish I cannot say
what Gackt means to me.
Finally,
I’ll just tell you, that the real secret of why beautiful
women fall in love with ugly men is simple – every man has
a beautiful side. I know that’s difficult for you to
understand because you’re beautiful in every way.
Thank
you, for your music, for your feelings, for being you… for
everything that you have given to the world.
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