Ricky Martin father through surrogate mother

On the heels of the development that lesbians are entitled to have IUI and IVF, comes yet another development: single men can become fathers through surrogate mothers.

One of the high profile example of surrogacy is that of Marissa Jaret Winokur who could not have her own children due to a medical condition.

Now Ricky Martin has become a father of twin boys by using a surrogate mom. He is not married and is not even dating a girl and there has been speculation for years that he is gay and would eventually come out. However, due to high rate of homophobia among Hispanics, he has chosen to remain in the closet.

It is great news for anyone who now wants to be a parent.

IUI, IVF for lesbians

The sad reality is that despite all the small advances made by gays and lesbians, they are openly discriminated in all walks of life. Homophobia is actually on the rise, largely driven by Republican politics and hatred created by many Christian groups.

The case of Guadalupe "Lupita" Benítez highlights how the name of Jesus Christ can be used by so-called Christians to find an excuse to discriminate. That is exactly what these so-called doctors Christine Brody and Douglas Fenton were doing. They belong to the same category of Christians who supposedly value life but strongly support death penalty. Similarly, they want to protect the institution of marriage but are fighting strongly against gay marriage laws.

The decision by California Supreme Court means that hopefully doctors will stop telling you why you cannot be a mom and do what their job is, that is, to dispense medicine. I wouldn't be surprised if something did not go right because the pharmacists already have the right to deny you your legally prescribed medication because their so-called God tells them not to.

While the last thing on a couple's mind when they are trying to become parents (particularly after 40 when each day matters) is a lawsuit but if you have to do it, it is worth it. Lupita's fight paid off. She is now a happy mom.

Do fertility treatments work?

When a woman is unable to get pregnant particularly after she is 40, it is natural for the couple to get desperate. That is when the greedy fertility treatment industry starts to exploit them. While many such couples may be able to pay for the outrageously expensive assisted reproductive therapy (ART) with the help of their insurance company (it is mandated by law in those cases), others will have to come up with tens of thousands of dollars on their own, often through financing with high interest rates.

Most people borrow this money and can get stuck in a cycle of debt for decades or even declare bankruptcy, often without becoming parents.

The so-called fertility doctors (and a whole industry that now includes acupuncturists, yoga teachers, natural medicine doctors, personal consultants, etc.) are in great position to exploit the desperate people. If the couple gets even technically pregnant, they take all the credit, and keep pushing them to try again (often more money, though, to trap them they will give some discounts not available to first-time patients).

And if you do not get pregnant, then they put all the blame on you. "You are too old, your eggs are no good, your husband has low sperm count, your husband has low sperm motility, etc.," they say.

Well, if you are one of those people that are desperate to have your own child but are unable to get pregnant, here is a piece of news that may save you tens of thousands of dollars.

According to research published in the British Medical Journal, use of drugs like Clomid and artificial insemination is no more useful than trying to get pregnant naturally. These fertility drugs also have serious side effects, chances of multiple babies is high (it may appear like great news to have more than one baby when you struggled to have just one, but these pregnancies are complicated with risk of death for both the babies and mother and higher possibility of development complications in children) and long-term effects on a woman's body, particularly menopause, are not yet known.

I can understand why it is tempting to undergo treatment. You feel that you are doing something and trying really hard, but trust me, the best way to try really hard is to hole up with your spouse in your bedroom.

So are IUI and IVF worthwhile?

No. They only make sense when natural pregnancy is impossible, for example, when using donor eggs or sperms or using a surrogate mother or when the fallopian tubes are blocked.

Lift mood with essential oils

If you feel a little sad some essential oils can help you. Mind you, if sadness has become a way of life for you, then you may be suffering from depression, and need to see a professional.

I am talking more about one of those days when you don't feel on top of the world. It could be hormonal or it could be because of a bad day at work or due to a family matter.

My favorite essential oil for those days is bergamot. The best way to use it is by burning it in an oil burner.

You can also find out if it is in your body lotion (do not get in the sun if you use it). The smell is great to feel better, guaranteed.

Another great smell is lemon. You can get essential oils or just use a lemon. You can add a few drops of oil to a burner or just smell it directly. Put a lemon on your desk and smell it often.