The Economic Stimulus Payment

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is
money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where
will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the
government is giving me back my own money?
"A. Only a smidgen.

"Q.
What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the
money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by

spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at
Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
 
If you spend it on
gasoline it wi ll go to the Arabs.
 
If you purchase a computer it
will go to India .
 
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will
go to Mexico , Honduras ,
and Guatemala (unless you buy
organic).
 
If you buy a car it will go to Japan
.
If you
purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .
 
And none of it will
help the American economy.
 
We need to keep that money here in
America . You can keep the money in
America by spending it at yard sales,
going to a baseball game, or spend it
on prostitutes, beer (domestic
ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only
businesses still in the
US.