Should I adopt a child with my younger boyfriend?

Maribelle writes, "I am a 64 year old woman who was married for 27 years and has two children, one 30 and another 23. They are both on their own. My husband and I have been separated for 7 months. I moved to Mexico for change of environment and to evaluate how I wanted to spend the rest of my life and met a man who is 27 years my junior. We have fallen in love. He is a surfer, organic farmer and financially independent like me (I am convinced that he is not looking to grab my retirement savings). We have separate homes. He thought I was maybe 45 or 52, the oldest I could have been in his mind. He fainted when he found out he was in love with a woman old enough to be his mother. We have talked about it all and have become comfortable with our age difference. We went out in public for the first time and found out that we could be out without feeling uncomfortable. We walked arm in arm and flirted with each other openly; it was refreshing because we have been keeping our love a secret. We both know we have to live in the moment because this is such a gift to both of us to find this love. We are very compatible in so many ways that it scares us. We both feel like we have been given a potion of love, we feel bewitched and live in a bubble of love where everything looks beautiful and doable. I feel so full of life and I don't remember having such a wild sexual experience as this. I thought those days were over but it seems I am getting younger by the day. I feel very confident and we have such wonderful conversations and the affection is overflowing. It makes me nervous because I have never been so in love as this. He too has never experienced this love. He does want children and talks to me about adopting together and getting married. I have an issue with being a Mommy again. We want to be together. Can this work?"

What a beautiful story and I am so happy for you. I hear from a lot of women like you who have found love with a younger man.

Obviously, like any other relationship, these relationships have challenges and one of the big ones is the desire of these men to become fathers. I think most of them recognize that they have to make some sacrifices in order to enjoy their relationship, and that is why, if you absolutely do not want to deal with diapers and toys, you must tell him so forcefully. To be very honest, it is simply not fun for you to take care of a child at this stage. You have already done that and it is time for you to just sit back and enjoy life.

If he truly loves you and wants to have that "father" experience I think he is old enough to act that role out with your children or get involved in the community by helping disadvantaged kids with soccer or Math or whatever talent he has. Hopefully, for the sake of your love for each other, it is a small sacrifice that he will happily make. If not, then, you should both discuss how to resolve it so that both of you are happy. If this is as beautiful a relationship as you say, you both might have to make some compromises.