My younger boyfriend wants kids but I don't

Hannah writes, "I am a divorced 38 years old dating a 30 year old guy.  I have two teenager daughters.  We're totally in love, he doesn't care about our ages, and he already asked me if I want to have more kids.  My 16 year old daughter doesn't like the idea.  I am also not sure if I am prepared to go through another pregnancy and raise a child.  He says that I look younger and would do just fine as a mom.  My friends believe he is too young for me, but I have to say that he is more mature than a 40 year old.  I do not want to scare him, but I think after 5 month I have to be clear.  Should I ask him about his plan?" 

Let me deal with each issue one at a time:

1. All kids feel a little jealous when a sibling comes and the situation gets a little more complicated when the kids are teens.  They are grown up enough to realize how their lives will be complicated and will change as a result of their mom getting married and then having a kid.  While they may be young enough not to be afraid for no reason and as an adult you can convince them, you still have to assess what it will mean for your relationship with your daughters.
2. Doctors consider someone at your age of advanced maternal age.  While women do get pregnant and have healthy babies, many women face huge challenges getting pregnant and sometimes have babies with genetic disorders.  Others get pregnant through in vitro fertilization or using donor eggs and these procedures can be expensive and emotionally hard of many families.  Many such procedures result in multiple births.  In other words, you two have to consider what happens if you don't get pregnant naturally.
3. Marriage of a couple means a few years of fun without any responsibilities.  In case you two want a kid, your doctor will probably advise you to start NOW.  That means that instead of building a relationship with a new husband and trying to integrate him into your family, you will be dealing with a newborn.
4. The age gap between you two is just 8 years and it is insignificant compared to other emails that I have been receiving where the age gap is as high as 25-30 years, in other words, people are marrying someone old enough to be a parent or child.  So I wouldn't worry too much about what the friends think as long as you two have a great relationship.  I totally agree with you that I have seen 30 year olds with the maturity of a 50 year old and also seen 30 year olds that literally seem like teenagers.  In the end it is the emotional maturity that matters rather than age and as cheesy as it may sound, age is only a number.  If this is the right man for you, then, he is the best man on the planet for you, regardless of what your friends think.

My suggestion would be that you first think through what you want, talk to your daughters, and then present the options to your boyfriend.  It is understandable why he may want a kid of his own, but if that is not what you and your daughters want, then it is best that he be allowed to move on and find a woman that will gladly give him a child.