News

Celine Dion desperate for second child

2009-11-11T15:27:00.003-05:00

Previously I reported that Celin Dion was pregnant from her frozen embryo but I am now learning from her husband Rene Angelil that it was a false pregnancy. In other words, there were hormonal changes in the body but the frozen embryo did not really implant.

It is important to understand that implanting a frozen embryo involves an IVF procedure and that involves preparing the woman's body through a combination of fertility drugs. That can completely confuse the body and that is why the false pregnancy tests. Celine has already tried once more since then and will try again but at some point you start to wonder if this couple is not just pushing the limits of parenthood because they already are parents of a healthy child. At this late age in life, it is nothing but greed, and yes they are rich and can do anything, and I would have supported their decision if they were childless, but right now it seems that they are simply greedy people who have no respect for their own child, who maybe born to an old woman whose body refuses to cooperate. It is one thing to exploit technology for becoming a parent, it is its abuse to raise a baby farm.

What if I cannot give child to my younger husband?

2009-10-01T15:25:00.004-04:00

Betty writes, "I am a 39-year-old woman. I have been divorced for a little over a year, and I have a son who just graduated from high school and has left home to join the military. I have also returned to school to get my college degree. I am typically attracted to men my age or older, but find myself attracted to a 27-year-old man. I met him at school. I feel interest/attraction there, on both our parts, but I can't help but worry about the "children" issue. This is something I feel women must think about at my age who are dating younger men who haven't yet had children. I'm not against having more children, but let's be honest... my "clock is ticking." Assuming we even begin dating, do relationships like this ever really work? What if I can't have more children? I just worry about falling for someone who is younger, only to have him leave me for someone closer to his own age."

I think the issue that you are worried about is a bit premature. Based on what other couples in similar situation have told me is no different than what happens to couples in general of same age group. Some men do not want children, some women cannot have children, some couples adopt, or use procedures like IUI, IVF, and donor eggs if they really want to become parents. As you can see, there is a whole range of options depending on what a couple actually wants. As the relationship evolves, most couples figure out a way to address this issue and generally love trumps all, unless it is a couple (Mark and Vanessa Loring played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) like in Juno.

Yes, relationships like this are increasingly common and they work as well, with or without children. Men who are dating a woman whose biological clock is ticking understand that their options are limited; otherwise, they don't date women in their 40s.

I tell women not to lose sleep over the possibility of these men leaving for a younger woman because even if you marry an older man, he could do the same.

Lesbians right to artificial insemination

2009-09-30T17:39:00.002-04:00

Remember those homophobes who run a clinic by the name of North Coast Women's Medical Group in Vista, CA? Arguing that Jesus Christ hates lesbians, they turned away Guadalupe Benitez and her partner Joanne Clark when they were denied ART.

It turns out that Jesus sent them an email clarifying that he loves gays and lesbians as much as he loves everyone else, including homophobes. The doctors then decided to settle the case rather than lose in a court for discrimination.

Jon Cryer Lisa Joyner adoption

2009-09-30T17:30:00.002-04:00

When I heard that Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl, named Daisy, I am starting to wonder if Lisa had trouble conceiving on her own or through IUI or IVF. She is 42 and that age it is not uncommon to face fertility problems.

Rather than trying endlessly either naturally or through unreliable methods like ART or donor eggs (many couples become depressed or even divorce while trying to become parents) adoption is one sure method that you can bring a child home when it is all said and done.

Should I adopt a child with my younger boyfriend?

2009-09-28T15:43:00.002-04:00

Maribelle writes, "I am a 64 year old woman who was married for 27 years and has two children, one 30 and another 23. They are both on their own. My husband and I have been separated for 7 months. I moved to Mexico for change of environment and to evaluate how I wanted to spend the rest of my life and met a man who is 27 years my junior. We have fallen in love. He is a surfer, organic farmer and financially independent like me (I am convinced that he is not looking to grab my retirement savings). We have separate homes. He thought I was maybe 45 or 52, the oldest I could have been in his mind. He fainted when he found out he was in love with a woman old enough to be his mother. We have talked about it all and have become comfortable with our age difference. We went out in public for the first time and found out that we could be out without feeling uncomfortable. We walked arm in arm and flirted with each other openly; it was refreshing because we have been keeping our love a secret. We both know we have to live in the moment because this is such a gift to both of us to find this love. We are very compatible in so many ways that it scares us. We both feel like we have been given a potion of love, we feel bewitched and live in a bubble of love where everything looks beautiful and doable. I feel so full of life and I don't remember having such a wild sexual experience as this. I thought those days were over but it seems I am getting younger by the day. I feel very confident and we have such wonderful conversations and the affection is overflowing. It makes me nervous because I have never been so in love as this. He too has never experienced this love. He does want children and talks to me about adopting together and getting married. I have an issue with being a Mommy again. We want to be together. Can this work?"

What a beautiful story and I am so happy for you. I hear from a lot of women like you who have found love with a younger man.

Obviously, like any other relationship, these relationships have challenges and one of the big ones is the desire of these men to become fathers. I think most of them recognize that they have to make some sacrifices in order to enjoy their relationship, and that is why, if you absolutely do not want to deal with diapers and toys, you must tell him so forcefully. To be very honest, it is simply not fun for you to take care of a child at this stage. You have already done that and it is time for you to just sit back and enjoy life.

If he truly loves you and wants to have that "father" experience I think he is old enough to act that role out with your children or get involved in the community by helping disadvantaged kids with soccer or Math or whatever talent he has. Hopefully, for the sake of your love for each other, it is a small sacrifice that he will happily make. If not, then, you should both discuss how to resolve it so that both of you are happy. If this is as beautiful a relationship as you say, you both might have to make some compromises.

Katherine Heigl mom without pregnancy

2009-09-10T13:55:00.004-04:00

Gossip magazines always like to speculate when a Hollywood celebrity is pregnant. Even if she is spotted shopping for a gift, they will immediately start suggesting that a baby is on its way.

Now Katherine Heigl, who got married to Josh Kelly is choosing to have a baby but she is adopting. I am not sure if she has fertility issues or if she or her husband have already tried options like IUI, IVF, or surrogate mom, but she has adopted a baby girl from South Korea called Nayleigh (or Leigh).

It may be interesting to mention that previously Heigl told USA Today that, "I am done with the whole idea of having my own children. It doesn't seem like fun. I don't think it's necessary to go through all of that." If that is the case, considering how over-populated the planet is, this is the greenest way to become a parent. Plus, she need not worry about pregnancy weight loss or stretch marks or breastfeeding or sagging breasts.

Michelle Stafford parent through surrogate mother

2009-09-08T14:58:00.002-04:00

As I have written before, by the time a woman is 40, her fertility has dropped to a point that it is highly unlikely that she can deliver a living, healthy, normal baby. Yes, some women do that but the number is in very low single digits. Others can try techniques like IUI or IVF but they are not much help. A smarter thing to do is to what Celine Dion did who froze her embryos a long time ago and then became pregnant with it.

If you have failed with these attempts (and burned thousands of dollars in case your insurance does not cover these procedures) then your next option is to use donor eggs, in which case, the real mother is someone else but a woman can still feel connected to the baby since she will be carrying it. These procedures are prohibitively expensive in most of the Western world but in countries like Czech Republic or Ukraine, poor and desperate women will sell their eggs for a very low price. The probability improves but if this does not work, another option is to use a surrogate mother, a procedure used by Ricky Martin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Marissa Jaret Winokur, and Clay Aiken. In other words, hire a woman to carry a man's child using the surrogate's or donor's eggs. This procedure can cost tens of thousands of dollars and surrogate moms are not lining up for the job.

We can now add another name to the list of women who are becoming "moms" with the help of surrogates: Michelle Stafford, who at 43, tried all of the above, but failed. Interestingly, in her case, since she is single mom by choice, both the sperm and egg are from donors and she will simply be raising the child. This option is akin to paying someone for adopting their baby.

Celine Dion pregnancy from frozen embryo

2009-08-26T14:11:00.002-04:00

As women delay marriage and pregnancy, they are finding out that their fertility goes down rapidly in late 30s and then in their 40s it is nearly impossible to deliver a healthy child naturally. At that point, a woman has to explore options like IUI, IVF, donor eggs or surrogate mother (as Ricky Martin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Clay Aiken and Marisssa Jaret Winokur did).

Céline Dion exercised another great option: freezing your eggs, or if you are already in a relationship and know who will be the father, frozen embryos. That way both the egg and the sperm comes from young, healthy parents and can be implanted into a woman's uterus well into her late 40s (though I often doubt the wisdom having children so late into one's life).

My wife wants to have a child before she gets too old

2009-08-12T11:43:00.002-04:00

Mark, a man in his 20s is in a serious relationship to a 46-year old woman. He writes, "I know it's difficult for a woman in her 40's to have kids and believe me I don't even know if I want any. I guess that she's worried that I might want to be a father some day and that I might leave her for a more younger fertile woman. I keep reassuring her that that's never going to happen but she tells me that she wants to have a baby with me more then anything (some day) and she's worried that soon she won't be able to. The donor egg option is definitely worth considering. I know the relationship is still new (we have been dating only a few months) and to be honest I don't know if I want to be a father. That's something I'm still mulling over but I do plan to ask her to marry me within the next couple of months. I already told her 19-year old daughter and she was surprised and happy. She still tells me that she won't refer to me as dad."

It is a common concern among most older women even when they are married to a man their age and they have reasons to fear it -- so many men do leave them for younger women. The concern is amplified when they are married to a much younger man.

The way the donor eggs work is that you will have to find a younger woman who is willing to donate her eggs. Yes, the child will not be genetically your wife's but she will carry the baby like any other woman and be able to breastfeed her like any regular mom. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea, though (you may not always know the genetic history of the donor and if you decide it to keep it a secret, the nosy people will comment that the child has no resemblance to the mother) and finding a donor plus having the medical procedures done can cost as much $30,000 in the US.

DNA damage in sperm

2009-06-30T14:21:00.002-04:00

When a couple is unable to become parents, it is a good idea to do some tests to detect fertility problems. While women over 40 have a difficult time getting pregnant due to advanced age, men may often be the ones to be responsible for infertility because of low sperm count or poor sperm quality.

Now, for any couple trying to make a baby, it is common sense to be very active in the bedroom (the more you do it the more the chances of a good sperm hitting an egg), now there is scientific research done by Dr David Greening of Sydney IVF that daily ejaculation for a week cut the amount of DNA damage seen in sperm samples.

I am sure it will make a lot of men very happy, but on a more serious note, fresher semen also showed higher motility even with a drop in sperm count. So ladies, get ready for a bed workout every night.

Do I have pregnancy symptoms?

2009-05-27T11:34:00.002-04:00

Britney writes, "I was not on the pill and made love to man, even though, he said that he did not go all the way in. I did that about 17 days ago and my period was more than 30 days ago. I have been feeling quite tired recently, more hungry, some smells irritate me now, a bit nauseous. etc. I am not sure if I am pregnant or not. I used two pregnancy test strips (HCG strips) over the weekend and they gave an INVALID result. I bought another one and it gave a negative result too. though I am still scared. I had to contact HIM so he'll know and we'll find a solution to it. Please, do you know if I can be getting the above pregnancy symptoms so early?"

Since you can still get your period (looks like you have been stressed and that can delay your period), it is best to do another test later this week. If it is still negative, that means that you simply missed your period and are not pregnant. The symptoms that you are having are not definite signs of being pregnant. It could be due to lack of sleep/rest, stress, and worry.

To get complete peace of mind, you can meet with a doctor who can do a more thorough test to determine what is going on.

Calm down and relax a bit. You are getting too worked up and may take a wrong decision. Merely missing a period does not mean much, particularly, if you have a history of irregular menstruation.

Sarah Jessica Parker surrogate twins

2009-05-20T17:34:00.002-04:00

I can understand why gays like Ricky Martin or Clay Aiken would use a surrogate to become parents.

Women that choose to be single moms or lesbians need not use surrogates if they can become moms themselves.

I can understand if Marissa Jaret Winokur used a surrogate since she was incapable of carrying a baby herself. For the same reason it would be understandable if Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick were a childless couple and SJP had problem conceiving and carrying a baby, but they already have a child.

Therefore, their choice to use a surrogate for their twins conceived by IVF at such a late stage in their life is simply disgusting. Does it mean that the rich can do anything they want because they have the money? Can they use other women as babymakers because they can? If they loved kids so much, they could have adopted from an orphanage.

How to find out if I am a virgin?

2009-05-14T14:19:00.002-04:00

India writes, "Due to a great error in judgment on my part, I made love to a man, and even though, he did not go all the way in, I think he ejaculated inside me. He told me to stand up straight after the intercourse so that the semen will kind of flow out due to gravity. I want to be sure I am not carrying his baby (we didn't use protection when he went in. I was fertile that day (checking my fertility again); I think it was the day after my ovulation and I am not on the pill since I have never had the use for it (I am not sexually active). Could I still be a virgin?"

Regarding your pregnancy, a pregnancy test kit at home or a blood test in any clinic can confirm if you are pregnant. If so, obviously, you are not a virgin.

Now if you did not become pregnant, then, it is hard to say. Generally speaking, it is understood that a girl is not virgin after the hymen (a membrane inside the vagina) breaks. However, girls who play sports or ride horses/bikes or even those who might fall down in the bathroom, might have a ruptured membrane. Only a medical test can determine if the hymen is still intact.

Now based on this, I cannot tell you for sure. A doctor has to examine you to confirm it.

Am I still a virgin?

2009-05-13T15:30:00.002-04:00

Candice writes, "I am 20 years old and until I met this older man, I had never been physically intimate with a man. Though I told him I did not wan to have sex, but a week ago, we were playing and he went half way inside me. There was no rupturing, I mean no blood but not everyone gets blood. Also no pain except a slight feeling of inconvenience that was over in about 30 minutes. I am not sure any more if I am still a virgin. Please can you tell if I could still be a virgin? My lover even called me later and said he is not even sure if I was a virgin or not. I feel awful and have broken up with this man.

If you are virgin or not, it is very hard to say. Blood does not always come out during sex for the first time. Also, it is not necessarily painful. Most likely you are still a virgin but only a doctor can say that after examining you.

The reason your lover is telling you that you were not a virgin is because he wants to manipulate you by saying so. If he can convince you that your body is not that of a virgin any way, he will find it easier to convince you to have sex with him.

So just relax, take a deep breath, don't worry about virginity, and get rid of this man. Not all men expect you to be a virgin on wedding night. You can also have hymen repair surgery or fake virginity by using a fake hymen to make your husband believe that you are a virgin.

Can I have kids if I marry a 40 year old woman?

2009-01-07T16:46:00.002-05:00

Larry is a 23-year old man madly in love with a 40-year old woman. "I have two brothers and they they are saying that I shouldn't marry her because she is too old and I can't have kids. Is it too late for this woman to have kids or we still have some hope?"

Larry, it is not impossible to have kids; it is just less likely. Getting naturally pregnant after 40 is somewhat difficult, but not impossible. Plus with techniques like IVF and donor eggs she can improve her chances. And also remember that even if you were to marry a 20 year old there is no guarantee that you can have kids. Not all couples can have kids; there are occasional problems. So this really shouldn't be an issue.

With your family, you have to explain to them how much you love this woman and how you want to be happy with her. You really hope that they will share in your happiness; if not you will have no choice to do what is right for yourself and leave them behind. It is going to be a difficult conversation but right now your family members are hoping that due to pressure from them you will give up.

Larry, if this is what you want, be a man and do it.

Birth abnormalities due to fertility treatment

2008-11-19T14:18:00.002-05:00

I have previously answered the question if fertility treatments work.

I think that there is some more information that should make you rethink assisted reproductive techniques (ART). A study by Jennita Reefhuis shows that kids born through IUI and IVF are 2-4 times more likely to have birth defects like heart problems, cleft lip, cleft palate and abnormalities in the esophagus or rectum.

Obviously there are several caveats but the major takeaway from this is to let Nature do its magic, try not to have a baby during advanced maternal age, and there are plenty of kids waiting to be adopted.

Weight loss surgery before pregnancy

2008-11-19T13:38:00.002-05:00

As I have written previously, pregnancy for obese women is risky if they do get pregnant in the first place. It is widely believed that obesity can result in infertility.

Now a new study by Dr. Melinda Maggard says that women should undergo weight loss surgery before they try to become pregnant. Not only are they more likely to become pregnant, the pregnancy and childbirth will be less complicated, and the baby will be healthy.

Women who get pregnant after gastric bypass surgery tend to be healthier and less likely to deliver a baby with complications compared to obese women.

How did Salma Hayek lose weight after childbirth?

2008-11-11T16:19:00.004-05:00

Salma Hayek has some honest tips for mothers hoping to lose weight childbirth.

It has traditionally been believed that a mom can lose weight much more easily if she starts breastfeeding after childbirth. According to Salma Hayek, however, "...the myth that says you lose all this weight when you breast-feed? That is sooo not true."

I know it sure does help your body work harder if you nurse, but if you continue to overeat, the weight will not go away. Even worse, you might even gain some.

In the end losing weight is all about maintaining a balance between calories consumed and used. So I am back to repeating that workout and low calorie diets are keys to losing weight.

How much wait should I gain during pregnancy?

2008-11-05T17:30:00.003-05:00

It is important that a pregnant woman gain weight during pregnancy but pregnancy for obese women is different. They need to work very closely with their doctor to make sure that they don't gain too much weight.

Teresa Hillier, MD, senior investigator at the Kaiser Permanente Center for Health Research has found that if a woman gains 40 lbs or more, it doubles the risk of having a baby that is more than 9 pounds. That generally means risks to health of both mother and child.

The rule of thumb is that just because you are pregnant it does not mean that you can binge or eat without counting your calories. Plus, while your exercise routine should change, you must still engage in proper exercise. This will also allow you to lose weight easily after childbirth.

Pregnant without sex

2008-10-06T17:08:00.002-04:00

I try to answer every question I get and while I had heard that there is all kinds of wrong information out there, for instance, that a girl can pregnant by just kissing, I did not expect that I will get a question like that.

Nanda from India writes, "I am in a relationship for the past two years. My partner and I get physical with each other but not regularly, but there is no intercourse. My menstrual periods have always been irregular. The last one was three months ago. I was expecting my period this month but I still do not have any signs. During this time my boyfriend and I did get physical but we were fully dressed and there was no ejaculation. Is there any chance of me getting pregnant? Please help; I am very stressed out over this."

There is no way you could be pregnant.

Just for your information, pregnancy is not easy as you think. In order for a woman to get pregnant, a man has to ejaculate inside her vagina during that perfect moment in her ovulation cycle (which can sometimes be as short as 1-2 days in a month). Still then, depending on the age of the woman, the probability is just about 10%.

I am not encouraging you to have sex without protection but just sharing information that a lot of things have to go right before a woman can get pregnant. In your case, since there was no sperm released inside, there is nothing to worry.

Regarding your infrequent periods, you must immediately see a doctor. It is not a good health sign and your doctor can look into it and prescribe medication.

And in the meantime, as far as your partner is concerned, it is OK to please each other the way you have been doing. In case you want him inside you, then I strongly recommend that you use a condom or some other birth control option.

Asian Caucasian parents

2008-10-02T11:38:00.004-04:00

We have all become very accepting of interracial relationships. It is a reflection of the diversity in our society and also allows everyone to enjoy different cultures.

Now the bad news. Research published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology says that the rates of cesarean deliveries, gestational diabetes, and other pregnancy-related outcomes are higher among Asian-Caucasian couples.

Not much is known about the causes and if interracial marriages are a bad idea, but it is something good to know if you are in an Asian-Caucasian relationship and trying to become parents.

Clay Aiken gay dad

2008-09-24T17:56:00.003-04:00

After Ricky Martin became dad with the help of a surrogate mom, yet another gay celebrity Clay Aiken has also become a dad. Yes, he also used a surrogate, but unlike in typical cases like this one, when you have to pay the surrogate mother, his platonic friend Jaymes Foster decided to carry the child for him and she became pregnant through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). The two will also raise the child together and the son's name will reflect both parents and is being called Parker Foster Aiken.

By the way, he is one of those Evangelical Christians and plans on following his faith despite strong hatred for gays among Born Again Christians and strong opposition to their becoming parents or adopting children, despite overwhelming data that they are excellent parents.

How did Nicole Kidman get pregnant?

2008-09-24T15:53:00.003-04:00

It is widely speculated that one reason for the divorce of Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise was her inability to give birth to a child - she had a miscarriage. The couple had adopted children. Once she got married to Keith Urban, and without any fertility treatment, she got pregnant and gave birth to a healthy child (daughter Sunday Rose). So even though Nicole was at an advanced age for motherhood, she got pregnant naturally.

How did it happen?

According to her, while shooting the movie "Australia," she went swimming in an Australian Outback waterfall near Kununurra, a small town in far northern part of Western Australia state.

"Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now," she says.

Now before you start planning a trip to Australia, remember that there is no such thing as a fertility waterfall. It is just superstition and a result of coincidence. Yes, fertility diet and lifestyle changes can alter a woman's fertility and improve the sperm quality of a man.

And to improve the chances of pregnancy further, one of the things that experts now recommend is a procreation vacation. The idea is to be in a beautiful place where you are both relaxed and as you track your ovulation, you can make love at that perfect moment because both of you are available and ready. If that is the only reason you want to travel to Australia, go right ahead, but do not expect anything more.

Single moms by choice

2008-09-23T16:43:00.003-04:00

When Ricky Martin fathered twins with the help of a surrogate, we were all surprised by his decision. It turns out that very few men try to take on the role of a single dad. On the other hand, it is a growing trend among women who are rapidly adopting what is know as "single motherhood by choice."

Why single moms?

As women have become more economically independent, they have realized that they do not need men to either support themselves or to become moms. In any case, with 50% divorce rate, the faith in the institution of marriage is already at an all time low among the educated women. With so many single parents out there, women are already seeing that not only it is more likely, it is also possible.

Another major reason for the trend is that many career-minded women put dating and marriage on hold while they build their careers. As they reach their late 30s, they realize that it is increasingly harder to find a man. Since compromising who they want to marry is not on their priority list, they simply do not want to miss their biological clocks and go ahead with pregnancy while still pursuing their dream man.

Another major change is the availability of IUI and IVF to lesbians and single women. While it was somewhat difficult to do so in the past, many single women can now easily find a sperm donor and fertility clinic to help them in the process.

Mobile phone dangers for sperm

2008-09-23T15:53:00.003-04:00

I had reported earlier that men who use cell phones may experience lower sperm quality. It appears that more evidence is coming that cell phone radiation may do a lot of harm to the reproductive organs.

In another study conducted by the Cleveland Clinic, they have found that simply keeping a mobile phone turned on and kept in your pants pocket may lead to excessive damage to sperm production.

Obviously, the cell phone companies are not even discussing this because it will hurt their business, but till the debate is settled, here is a word of advice for all those couples trying to get pregnant: keep your cell phone away from your body. You can always put it in your handbag or on your desk while you are working but definitely several feet away from your body to the extent possible. It is also possible to use one of those bluetooth headsets that minimize radiation.