What if I cannot give child to my younger husband?

Betty writes, "I am a 39-year-old woman. I have been divorced for a little over a year, and I have a son who just graduated from high school and has left home to join the military. I have also returned to school to get my college degree. I am typically attracted to men my age or older, but find myself attracted to a 27-year-old man. I met him at school. I feel interest/attraction there, on both our parts, but I can't help but worry about the "children" issue. This is something I feel women must think about at my age who are dating younger men who haven't yet had children. I'm not against having more children, but let's be honest... my "clock is ticking." Assuming we even begin dating, do relationships like this ever really work? What if I can't have more children? I just worry about falling for someone who is younger, only to have him leave me for someone closer to his own age."

I think the issue that you are worried about is a bit premature. Based on what other couples in similar situation have told me is no different than what happens to couples in general of same age group. Some men do not want children, some women cannot have children, some couples adopt, or use procedures like IUI, IVF, and donor eggs if they really want to become parents. As you can see, there is a whole range of options depending on what a couple actually wants. As the relationship evolves, most couples figure out a way to address this issue and generally love trumps all, unless it is a couple (Mark and Vanessa Loring played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) like in Juno.

Yes, relationships like this are increasingly common and they work as well, with or without children. Men who are dating a woman whose biological clock is ticking understand that their options are limited; otherwise, they don't date women in their 40s.

I tell women not to lose sleep over the possibility of these men leaving for a younger woman because even if you marry an older man, he could do the same.

Birth abnormalities due to fertility treatment

I have previously answered the question if fertility treatments work.

I think that there is some more information that should make you rethink assisted reproductive techniques (ART). A study by Jennita Reefhuis shows that kids born through IUI and IVF are 2-4 times more likely to have birth defects like heart problems, cleft lip, cleft palate and abnormalities in the esophagus or rectum.

Obviously there are several caveats but the major takeaway from this is to let Nature do its magic, try not to have a baby during advanced maternal age, and there are plenty of kids waiting to be adopted.

Naomi Campbell pregnancy

One of the biggest challenges that college-educated, ambitious women face is that they have to balance work and life and have to make choices that can come to haunt them later. While the best time to get married (the right age to get married, according to several studies, is late 20s) and have children is in your late twenties to early thirties, career-minded women do not have that freedom.

And with all the commitment phobia among men, long-term relationships and marriages ending up in divorce 50% of the time, is not rare to see a woman end up close to 40 with no child.

And we all know that pregnancy after 40 is nearly impossible without IUI or IVF or some other kind of fertility treatment, and even if that happens, there are higher possibilities of genetic disorders.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is one such woman who is now 38 and realizes that she does not have children. It turns out that while she was not actively trying to get pregnant, though, the Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin will definitely prove to be a rich father the way Salma Hayek landed a rich father Francois-Henri Pinault for her daughter. What she learned recently that she was technically infertile until a surgery corrected it. Now she is saying that she is ready to start a family.

The message here is that if you are not getting pregnant after trying for 12 months, it is time to seek fertility treatment.

How did Sarah Palin get pregnant?

While it is great news that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin got pregnant at the age of 44 (when it is nearly impossible for a woman to get pregnant) and had a child (Trig) but the bad news is that the child suffers from Down's Syndrome (it is widely known that children of parents of advanced age suffer from a variety of diseases if there is no miscarriage).

So how did she become pregnant?

It was a mistake. Many women stop their birth control around this age (Palin has some pretty extremist beliefs and it is not clear if she believes in birth control) and are often surprised that they become pregnant. Most women will lose the baby in a miscarriage.

Planned pregnancy. Many couples do not realize the risks that they are taking when they try to become pregnant in their 40s. Considering how clueless this woman is (her own daughter is a teenage mom and her speeches and statements make it obvious that she is simple an airhead; there was a widespread rumor that Trig was actually her grandchild that she adopted by faking a pregnancy so that she could shield her daughter but after her daughter was visibly pregnant that rumor died), it would not be a surprise that she genuinely believes that she could have yet another child at the ripe age of 44 (like Michelle Duggar).

Possible use of artificial reproductive therapy (ART). Palin already had four children, and though she had expressed a desire for a lot of children, there is no information available if that was the case.

IUI, IVF for lesbians

The sad reality is that despite all the small advances made by gays and lesbians, they are openly discriminated in all walks of life. Homophobia is actually on the rise, largely driven by Republican politics and hatred created by many Christian groups.

The case of Guadalupe "Lupita" Benítez highlights how the name of Jesus Christ can be used by so-called Christians to find an excuse to discriminate. That is exactly what these so-called doctors Christine Brody and Douglas Fenton were doing. They belong to the same category of Christians who supposedly value life but strongly support death penalty. Similarly, they want to protect the institution of marriage but are fighting strongly against gay marriage laws.

The decision by California Supreme Court means that hopefully doctors will stop telling you why you cannot be a mom and do what their job is, that is, to dispense medicine. I wouldn't be surprised if something did not go right because the pharmacists already have the right to deny you your legally prescribed medication because their so-called God tells them not to.

While the last thing on a couple's mind when they are trying to become parents (particularly after 40 when each day matters) is a lawsuit but if you have to do it, it is worth it. Lupita's fight paid off. She is now a happy mom.

Men infertility

Until now it was believed that if a woman over 40 was trying to pregnant and she was not having success it was because her eggs were just too old. Unless a man had a low sperm count, the thinking was that the man had nothing to do with infertility.

Not any more. A new study suggests that if a couple is unable to conceive it is because the man is over 35. The probability of a pregnancy drops further if he is past 40.

Such advanced age couples (the medical term for couples who are too old for having healthy babies), even if they get pregnant, are more likely to suffer from miscarriages or have babies born with genetic disorders. (Related: How to get pregnant after 40)

So what are the options for these mature couples?

In the past, it was recommended that a woman choose donor eggs and a whole fertility treatment industry evolved in countries like the Czech Republic. Now it seems that unless you are a mature woman married to a younger man, donor eggs may not be the best idea for an IVF.

The best alternative would be to adopt a child or get a surrogate mother using both donated sperm and egg, if necessary. The world is already populated and unless you are an Albert Einstein or Virgin Mary or Mozart or Picasso there really is no need for you to reproduce.

How to get pregnant after 40?

Getting pregnant after 40 is not easy, if impossible. A woman's fertility drops significantly chances of miscarriage and birth defects explode. While there are some cures for infertility, and doctors can try assisted reproductive therapy (ART) procedures like IUI and IVF, the probability of a live birth is low.

One woman who has beaten the odds is Halle Berry (It seems that Nancy Grace did not get pregnant naturally). A negative pregnancy test is a very emotional moment for any woman trying to get pregnant but she saved all of them for some strange reason. After 35 tests, she got a positive test.

So what is the takeaway from the story of Halle Berry?

"While I was trying to get pregnant, we tried really hard, so it was a lot of staying home and just doing what you do," she told Oprah. In other words, since the probability is low, the best way to increase it to have sex more often and monitor your ovulation closely.

Devon Cameron creates Stella art

What you see on your left is Stella - a design fashioned from seven different types of hard-shelled gourds and embellished with dried leaves and flowers. Each is handmade by Devon Cameron (with some help from Mother Nature) in her Sugar Loaf, New York studio. And each projects a style and "cattitude" that will bring a smile and place her high on any collector's list.

These whimsical, museum-quality works are large as life measuring 20 to 26 inches from their gourd-bud noses to their curled tails. Fiercely independent, meticulously clean, and eager to delight, these ladies never unsheathe their pine-cone claws or trigger an allergy. All natural, quintessentially feminine, and sassy to their seedy core, these cats are a must have.

These hanging ornaments take the form of cat, dog, cow, pig, snowman, rooster, turtle, penguin, and frog.