What if I cannot give child to my younger husband?

Betty writes, "I am a 39-year-old woman. I have been divorced for a little over a year, and I have a son who just graduated from high school and has left home to join the military. I have also returned to school to get my college degree. I am typically attracted to men my age or older, but find myself attracted to a 27-year-old man. I met him at school. I feel interest/attraction there, on both our parts, but I can't help but worry about the "children" issue. This is something I feel women must think about at my age who are dating younger men who haven't yet had children. I'm not against having more children, but let's be honest... my "clock is ticking." Assuming we even begin dating, do relationships like this ever really work? What if I can't have more children? I just worry about falling for someone who is younger, only to have him leave me for someone closer to his own age."

I think the issue that you are worried about is a bit premature. Based on what other couples in similar situation have told me is no different than what happens to couples in general of same age group. Some men do not want children, some women cannot have children, some couples adopt, or use procedures like IUI, IVF, and donor eggs if they really want to become parents. As you can see, there is a whole range of options depending on what a couple actually wants. As the relationship evolves, most couples figure out a way to address this issue and generally love trumps all, unless it is a couple (Mark and Vanessa Loring played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) like in Juno.

Yes, relationships like this are increasingly common and they work as well, with or without children. Men who are dating a woman whose biological clock is ticking understand that their options are limited; otherwise, they don't date women in their 40s.

I tell women not to lose sleep over the possibility of these men leaving for a younger woman because even if you marry an older man, he could do the same.

Single moms by choice

When Ricky Martin fathered twins with the help of a surrogate, we were all surprised by his decision. It turns out that very few men try to take on the role of a single dad. On the other hand, it is a growing trend among women who are rapidly adopting what is know as "single motherhood by choice."

Why single moms?

As women have become more economically independent, they have realized that they do not need men to either support themselves or to become moms. In any case, with 50% divorce rate, the faith in the institution of marriage is already at an all time low among the educated women. With so many single parents out there, women are already seeing that not only it is more likely, it is also possible.

Another major reason for the trend is that many career-minded women put dating and marriage on hold while they build their careers. As they reach their late 30s, they realize that it is increasingly harder to find a man. Since compromising who they want to marry is not on their priority list, they simply do not want to miss their biological clocks and go ahead with pregnancy while still pursuing their dream man.

Another major change is the availability of IUI and IVF to lesbians and single women. While it was somewhat difficult to do so in the past, many single women can now easily find a sperm donor and fertility clinic to help them in the process.