What if I cannot give child to my younger husband?

Betty writes, "I am a 39-year-old woman. I have been divorced for a little over a year, and I have a son who just graduated from high school and has left home to join the military. I have also returned to school to get my college degree. I am typically attracted to men my age or older, but find myself attracted to a 27-year-old man. I met him at school. I feel interest/attraction there, on both our parts, but I can't help but worry about the "children" issue. This is something I feel women must think about at my age who are dating younger men who haven't yet had children. I'm not against having more children, but let's be honest... my "clock is ticking." Assuming we even begin dating, do relationships like this ever really work? What if I can't have more children? I just worry about falling for someone who is younger, only to have him leave me for someone closer to his own age."

I think the issue that you are worried about is a bit premature. Based on what other couples in similar situation have told me is no different than what happens to couples in general of same age group. Some men do not want children, some women cannot have children, some couples adopt, or use procedures like IUI, IVF, and donor eggs if they really want to become parents. As you can see, there is a whole range of options depending on what a couple actually wants. As the relationship evolves, most couples figure out a way to address this issue and generally love trumps all, unless it is a couple (Mark and Vanessa Loring played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) like in Juno.

Yes, relationships like this are increasingly common and they work as well, with or without children. Men who are dating a woman whose biological clock is ticking understand that their options are limited; otherwise, they don't date women in their 40s.

I tell women not to lose sleep over the possibility of these men leaving for a younger woman because even if you marry an older man, he could do the same.

Celine Dion pregnancy from frozen embryo

As women delay marriage and pregnancy, they are finding out that their fertility goes down rapidly in late 30s and then in their 40s it is nearly impossible to deliver a healthy child naturally. At that point, a woman has to explore options like IUI, IVF, donor eggs or surrogate mother (as Ricky Martin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Clay Aiken and Marisssa Jaret Winokur did).

Céline Dion exercised another great option: freezing your eggs, or if you are already in a relationship and know who will be the father, frozen embryos. That way both the egg and the sperm comes from young, healthy parents and can be implanted into a woman's uterus well into her late 40s (though I often doubt the wisdom having children so late into one's life).

My wife wants to have a child before she gets too old

Mark, a man in his 20s is in a serious relationship to a 46-year old woman. He writes, "I know it's difficult for a woman in her 40's to have kids and believe me I don't even know if I want any. I guess that she's worried that I might want to be a father some day and that I might leave her for a more younger fertile woman. I keep reassuring her that that's never going to happen but she tells me that she wants to have a baby with me more then anything (some day) and she's worried that soon she won't be able to. The donor egg option is definitely worth considering. I know the relationship is still new (we have been dating only a few months) and to be honest I don't know if I want to be a father. That's something I'm still mulling over but I do plan to ask her to marry me within the next couple of months. I already told her 19-year old daughter and she was surprised and happy. She still tells me that she won't refer to me as dad."

It is a common concern among most older women even when they are married to a man their age and they have reasons to fear it -- so many men do leave them for younger women. The concern is amplified when they are married to a much younger man.

The way the donor eggs work is that you will have to find a younger woman who is willing to donate her eggs. Yes, the child will not be genetically your wife's but she will carry the baby like any other woman and be able to breastfeed her like any regular mom. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea, though (you may not always know the genetic history of the donor and if you decide it to keep it a secret, the nosy people will comment that the child has no resemblance to the mother) and finding a donor plus having the medical procedures done can cost as much $30,000 in the US.

Men infertility

Until now it was believed that if a woman over 40 was trying to pregnant and she was not having success it was because her eggs were just too old. Unless a man had a low sperm count, the thinking was that the man had nothing to do with infertility.

Not any more. A new study suggests that if a couple is unable to conceive it is because the man is over 35. The probability of a pregnancy drops further if he is past 40.

Such advanced age couples (the medical term for couples who are too old for having healthy babies), even if they get pregnant, are more likely to suffer from miscarriages or have babies born with genetic disorders. (Related: How to get pregnant after 40)

So what are the options for these mature couples?

In the past, it was recommended that a woman choose donor eggs and a whole fertility treatment industry evolved in countries like the Czech Republic. Now it seems that unless you are a mature woman married to a younger man, donor eggs may not be the best idea for an IVF.

The best alternative would be to adopt a child or get a surrogate mother using both donated sperm and egg, if necessary. The world is already populated and unless you are an Albert Einstein or Virgin Mary or Mozart or Picasso there really is no need for you to reproduce.