Celine Dion gone crazy for another baby

I have a lot of sympathy for couples struggling with infertility (which I define as the inability of a woman to get her first child).  It is understandable why a woman or a couple wants to have a kid but cannot. 

There is already a huge discussion going on if everyone should have children after a certain age because as we know that older mothers often give birth to children with autism and older fathers often have kids with bipolar disorder.  Sarah Palin, who got pregnant at an advanced age, gave birth to Trig, who has Down's Syndrome.

I have absolutely no sympathy for greedy women who are already mothers but are putting themselves and most likely the kids that maybe born at great risk of health and genetic diseases.  Céline Dion, already a mother of a son Rene-Charles, 9, has already tried four unsuccessful rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF) using frozen embryos.  "I'm going to try until it works," she tells People.  We definitely need some regulation to stop these crazy women because look what Octomom did.

Celine Dion desperate for second child

Previously I reported that Celin Dion was pregnant from her frozen embryo but I am now learning from her husband Rene Angelil that it was a false pregnancy. In other words, there were hormonal changes in the body but the frozen embryo did not really implant.

It is important to understand that implanting a frozen embryo involves an IVF procedure and that involves preparing the woman's body through a combination of fertility drugs. That can completely confuse the body and that is why the false pregnancy tests. Celine has already tried once more since then and will try again but at some point you start to wonder if this couple is not just pushing the limits of parenthood because they already are parents of a healthy child. At this late age in life, it is nothing but greed, and yes they are rich and can do anything, and I would have supported their decision if they were childless, but right now it seems that they are simply greedy people who have no respect for their own child, who maybe born to an old woman whose body refuses to cooperate. It is one thing to exploit technology for becoming a parent, it is its abuse to raise a baby farm.

What if I cannot give child to my younger husband?

Betty writes, "I am a 39-year-old woman. I have been divorced for a little over a year, and I have a son who just graduated from high school and has left home to join the military. I have also returned to school to get my college degree. I am typically attracted to men my age or older, but find myself attracted to a 27-year-old man. I met him at school. I feel interest/attraction there, on both our parts, but I can't help but worry about the "children" issue. This is something I feel women must think about at my age who are dating younger men who haven't yet had children. I'm not against having more children, but let's be honest... my "clock is ticking." Assuming we even begin dating, do relationships like this ever really work? What if I can't have more children? I just worry about falling for someone who is younger, only to have him leave me for someone closer to his own age."

I think the issue that you are worried about is a bit premature. Based on what other couples in similar situation have told me is no different than what happens to couples in general of same age group. Some men do not want children, some women cannot have children, some couples adopt, or use procedures like IUI, IVF, and donor eggs if they really want to become parents. As you can see, there is a whole range of options depending on what a couple actually wants. As the relationship evolves, most couples figure out a way to address this issue and generally love trumps all, unless it is a couple (Mark and Vanessa Loring played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) like in Juno.

Yes, relationships like this are increasingly common and they work as well, with or without children. Men who are dating a woman whose biological clock is ticking understand that their options are limited; otherwise, they don't date women in their 40s.

I tell women not to lose sleep over the possibility of these men leaving for a younger woman because even if you marry an older man, he could do the same.

Lesbians right to artificial insemination

Remember those homophobes who run a clinic by the name of North Coast Women's Medical Group in Vista, CA? Arguing that Jesus Christ hates lesbians, they turned away Guadalupe Benitez and her partner Joanne Clark when they were denied ART.

It turns out that Jesus sent them an email clarifying that he loves gays and lesbians as much as he loves everyone else, including homophobes. The doctors then decided to settle the case rather than lose in a court for discrimination.

Katherine Heigl mom without pregnancy

Gossip magazines always like to speculate when a Hollywood celebrity is pregnant. Even if she is spotted shopping for a gift, they will immediately start suggesting that a baby is on its way.

Now Katherine Heigl, who got married to Josh Kelly is choosing to have a baby but she is adopting. I am not sure if she has fertility issues or if she or her husband have already tried options like IUI, IVF, or surrogate mom, but she has adopted a baby girl from South Korea called Nayleigh (or Leigh).

It may be interesting to mention that previously Heigl told USA Today that, "I am done with the whole idea of having my own children. It doesn't seem like fun. I don't think it's necessary to go through all of that." If that is the case, considering how over-populated the planet is, this is the greenest way to become a parent. Plus, she need not worry about pregnancy weight loss or stretch marks or breastfeeding or sagging breasts.

Michelle Stafford parent through surrogate mother

As I have written before, by the time a woman is 40, her fertility has dropped to a point that it is highly unlikely that she can deliver a living, healthy, normal baby. Yes, some women do that but the number is in very low single digits. Others can try techniques like IUI or IVF but they are not much help. A smarter thing to do is to what Celine Dion did who froze her embryos a long time ago and then became pregnant with it.

If you have failed with these attempts (and burned thousands of dollars in case your insurance does not cover these procedures) then your next option is to use donor eggs, in which case, the real mother is someone else but a woman can still feel connected to the baby since she will be carrying it. These procedures are prohibitively expensive in most of the Western world but in countries like Czech Republic or Ukraine, poor and desperate women will sell their eggs for a very low price. The probability improves but if this does not work, another option is to use a surrogate mother, a procedure used by Ricky Martin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Marissa Jaret Winokur, and Clay Aiken. In other words, hire a woman to carry a man's child using the surrogate's or donor's eggs. This procedure can cost tens of thousands of dollars and surrogate moms are not lining up for the job.

We can now add another name to the list of women who are becoming "moms" with the help of surrogates: Michelle Stafford, who at 43, tried all of the above, but failed. Interestingly, in her case, since she is single mom by choice, both the sperm and egg are from donors and she will simply be raising the child. This option is akin to paying someone for adopting their baby.

Celine Dion pregnancy from frozen embryo

As women delay marriage and pregnancy, they are finding out that their fertility goes down rapidly in late 30s and then in their 40s it is nearly impossible to deliver a healthy child naturally. At that point, a woman has to explore options like IUI, IVF, donor eggs or surrogate mother (as Ricky Martin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Clay Aiken and Marisssa Jaret Winokur did).

Céline Dion exercised another great option: freezing your eggs, or if you are already in a relationship and know who will be the father, frozen embryos. That way both the egg and the sperm comes from young, healthy parents and can be implanted into a woman's uterus well into her late 40s (though I often doubt the wisdom having children so late into one's life).

My wife wants to have a child before she gets too old

Mark, a man in his 20s is in a serious relationship to a 46-year old woman. He writes, "I know it's difficult for a woman in her 40's to have kids and believe me I don't even know if I want any. I guess that she's worried that I might want to be a father some day and that I might leave her for a more younger fertile woman. I keep reassuring her that that's never going to happen but she tells me that she wants to have a baby with me more then anything (some day) and she's worried that soon she won't be able to. The donor egg option is definitely worth considering. I know the relationship is still new (we have been dating only a few months) and to be honest I don't know if I want to be a father. That's something I'm still mulling over but I do plan to ask her to marry me within the next couple of months. I already told her 19-year old daughter and she was surprised and happy. She still tells me that she won't refer to me as dad."

It is a common concern among most older women even when they are married to a man their age and they have reasons to fear it -- so many men do leave them for younger women. The concern is amplified when they are married to a much younger man.

The way the donor eggs work is that you will have to find a younger woman who is willing to donate her eggs. Yes, the child will not be genetically your wife's but she will carry the baby like any other woman and be able to breastfeed her like any regular mom. Not everyone is comfortable with the idea, though (you may not always know the genetic history of the donor and if you decide it to keep it a secret, the nosy people will comment that the child has no resemblance to the mother) and finding a donor plus having the medical procedures done can cost as much $30,000 in the US.

Birth abnormalities due to fertility treatment

I have previously answered the question if fertility treatments work.

I think that there is some more information that should make you rethink assisted reproductive techniques (ART). A study by Jennita Reefhuis shows that kids born through IUI and IVF are 2-4 times more likely to have birth defects like heart problems, cleft lip, cleft palate and abnormalities in the esophagus or rectum.

Obviously there are several caveats but the major takeaway from this is to let Nature do its magic, try not to have a baby during advanced maternal age, and there are plenty of kids waiting to be adopted.

Clay Aiken gay dad

After Ricky Martin became dad with the help of a surrogate mom, yet another gay celebrity Clay Aiken has also become a dad. Yes, he also used a surrogate, but unlike in typical cases like this one, when you have to pay the surrogate mother, his platonic friend Jaymes Foster decided to carry the child for him and she became pregnant through in-vitro fertilization (IVF). The two will also raise the child together and the son's name will reflect both parents and is being called Parker Foster Aiken.

By the way, he is one of those Evangelical Christians and plans on following his faith despite strong hatred for gays among Born Again Christians and strong opposition to their becoming parents or adopting children, despite overwhelming data that they are excellent parents.

Single moms by choice

When Ricky Martin fathered twins with the help of a surrogate, we were all surprised by his decision. It turns out that very few men try to take on the role of a single dad. On the other hand, it is a growing trend among women who are rapidly adopting what is know as "single motherhood by choice."

Why single moms?

As women have become more economically independent, they have realized that they do not need men to either support themselves or to become moms. In any case, with 50% divorce rate, the faith in the institution of marriage is already at an all time low among the educated women. With so many single parents out there, women are already seeing that not only it is more likely, it is also possible.

Another major reason for the trend is that many career-minded women put dating and marriage on hold while they build their careers. As they reach their late 30s, they realize that it is increasingly harder to find a man. Since compromising who they want to marry is not on their priority list, they simply do not want to miss their biological clocks and go ahead with pregnancy while still pursuing their dream man.

Another major change is the availability of IUI and IVF to lesbians and single women. While it was somewhat difficult to do so in the past, many single women can now easily find a sperm donor and fertility clinic to help them in the process.

Ricky Martin father through surrogate mother

On the heels of the development that lesbians are entitled to have IUI and IVF, comes yet another development: single men can become fathers through surrogate mothers.

One of the high profile example of surrogacy is that of Marissa Jaret Winokur who could not have her own children due to a medical condition.

Now Ricky Martin has become a father of twin boys by using a surrogate mom. He is not married and is not even dating a girl and there has been speculation for years that he is gay and would eventually come out. However, due to high rate of homophobia among Hispanics, he has chosen to remain in the closet.

It is great news for anyone who now wants to be a parent.

IUI, IVF for lesbians

The sad reality is that despite all the small advances made by gays and lesbians, they are openly discriminated in all walks of life. Homophobia is actually on the rise, largely driven by Republican politics and hatred created by many Christian groups.

The case of Guadalupe "Lupita" Benítez highlights how the name of Jesus Christ can be used by so-called Christians to find an excuse to discriminate. That is exactly what these so-called doctors Christine Brody and Douglas Fenton were doing. They belong to the same category of Christians who supposedly value life but strongly support death penalty. Similarly, they want to protect the institution of marriage but are fighting strongly against gay marriage laws.

The decision by California Supreme Court means that hopefully doctors will stop telling you why you cannot be a mom and do what their job is, that is, to dispense medicine. I wouldn't be surprised if something did not go right because the pharmacists already have the right to deny you your legally prescribed medication because their so-called God tells them not to.

While the last thing on a couple's mind when they are trying to become parents (particularly after 40 when each day matters) is a lawsuit but if you have to do it, it is worth it. Lupita's fight paid off. She is now a happy mom.

Men infertility

Until now it was believed that if a woman over 40 was trying to pregnant and she was not having success it was because her eggs were just too old. Unless a man had a low sperm count, the thinking was that the man had nothing to do with infertility.

Not any more. A new study suggests that if a couple is unable to conceive it is because the man is over 35. The probability of a pregnancy drops further if he is past 40.

Such advanced age couples (the medical term for couples who are too old for having healthy babies), even if they get pregnant, are more likely to suffer from miscarriages or have babies born with genetic disorders. (Related: How to get pregnant after 40)

So what are the options for these mature couples?

In the past, it was recommended that a woman choose donor eggs and a whole fertility treatment industry evolved in countries like the Czech Republic. Now it seems that unless you are a mature woman married to a younger man, donor eggs may not be the best idea for an IVF.

The best alternative would be to adopt a child or get a surrogate mother using both donated sperm and egg, if necessary. The world is already populated and unless you are an Albert Einstein or Virgin Mary or Mozart or Picasso there really is no need for you to reproduce.

How to get pregnant after 40?

Getting pregnant after 40 is not easy, if impossible. A woman's fertility drops significantly chances of miscarriage and birth defects explode. While there are some cures for infertility, and doctors can try assisted reproductive therapy (ART) procedures like IUI and IVF, the probability of a live birth is low.

One woman who has beaten the odds is Halle Berry (It seems that Nancy Grace did not get pregnant naturally). A negative pregnancy test is a very emotional moment for any woman trying to get pregnant but she saved all of them for some strange reason. After 35 tests, she got a positive test.

So what is the takeaway from the story of Halle Berry?

"While I was trying to get pregnant, we tried really hard, so it was a lot of staying home and just doing what you do," she told Oprah. In other words, since the probability is low, the best way to increase it to have sex more often and monitor your ovulation closely.