How to find out if I am a virgin?

India writes, "Due to a great error in judgment on my part, I made love to a man, and even though, he did not go all the way in, I think he ejaculated inside me. He told me to stand up straight after the intercourse so that the semen will kind of flow out due to gravity. I want to be sure I am not carrying his baby (we didn't use protection when he went in. I was fertile that day (checking my fertility again); I think it was the day after my ovulation and I am not on the pill since I have never had the use for it (I am not sexually active). Could I still be a virgin?"

Regarding your pregnancy, a pregnancy test kit at home or a blood test in any clinic can confirm if you are pregnant. If so, obviously, you are not a virgin.

Now if you did not become pregnant, then, it is hard to say. Generally speaking, it is understood that a girl is not virgin after the hymen (a membrane inside the vagina) breaks. However, girls who play sports or ride horses/bikes or even those who might fall down in the bathroom, might have a ruptured membrane. Only a medical test can determine if the hymen is still intact.

Now based on this, I cannot tell you for sure. A doctor has to examine you to confirm it.

Am I still a virgin?

Candice writes, "I am 20 years old and until I met this older man, I had never been physically intimate with a man. Though I told him I did not wan to have sex, but a week ago, we were playing and he went half way inside me. There was no rupturing, I mean no blood but not everyone gets blood. Also no pain except a slight feeling of inconvenience that was over in about 30 minutes. I am not sure any more if I am still a virgin. Please can you tell if I could still be a virgin? My lover even called me later and said he is not even sure if I was a virgin or not. I feel awful and have broken up with this man.

If you are virgin or not, it is very hard to say. Blood does not always come out during sex for the first time. Also, it is not necessarily painful. Most likely you are still a virgin but only a doctor can say that after examining you.

The reason your lover is telling you that you were not a virgin is because he wants to manipulate you by saying so. If he can convince you that your body is not that of a virgin any way, he will find it easier to convince you to have sex with him.

So just relax, take a deep breath, don't worry about virginity, and get rid of this man. Not all men expect you to be a virgin on wedding night. You can also have hymen repair surgery or fake virginity by using a fake hymen to make your husband believe that you are a virgin.

Americans are not virgins on wedding day

According to a study by Guttmacher Institute, almost all Americans have had sex before they get married. This is true not just for Gen-X or Gen-Y or even baby boomers; it is actually the case for even much older Americans.

So why do we make such a big deal about virginity pledges and abstinence-only sex education? It seems that Americans live two lives: one for the world (in which they claim to believe in virginity, devotion to Jesus Christ, homophobia, etc.) and one for themselves (full of divorce, gay sex, etc.).

It will be nice that we just did not have to juggle the two!

Are there 30 year old virgins out there?

While kids may be losing their virginity in their early teens, some people manage to stay virgins much longer (e.g. Jessica Simpson, Katie Holmes). BTW, we are talking about the G8 world here - it seems that in many parts of the world most people lose their virginity to their spouses - exactly the way the Catholics like it.

And oh, did you know that you can restore your virginity through a procedure called hymenoplasty - just in case you do not want to let your partner know that you were messing around or if you just want to let your man "break the seal" as the guys say.

Well, there are common folks too who fail to find a relationship not because they really believe everything the Pope says or what some ultra-right evangelicals would like to see, but that they just can't find the right person. Jane magazine recently featured one of such women.