| Serena
writes, "I have a
crush on a
Japanese guy. I spent only a
month in Japan so I still don't understand
how Japanese think/behave. We went only on one date
when I was in Japan (I
asked him out) and nothing really happened - he's
shy and his English is pretty bad, so the date was
kind of awkward because it was
hard to
communicate. Now that I'm away, we're exchanging
emails, but the question is, how can I know if he's
interested in me romantically? I'm not sure if he's
only being kind/wants to practice English or
he's
interested in me. What are signs I should pay
attention to? Should I ask him directly (I'd rather not,
as I'm
kind of shy myself)? I'm really looking forward to
visit again - he promised to take me to
karaoke and drinking, but
what should I expect?"
Japanese people are often being sweet and we can confuse
that as interest
As much as I would like to say that
maybe there is some hope I have a strong feeling that
this may not go anywhere. If you do not
live in Japan and only hope to visit a guy that you
only went on one date with, I would say that this is a
good man who is curious about you but recognizes all the
challenges of having anything meaningful due to language
problem and huge distance. My recommendation would be to
maintain that email friendship you have and at some
point ask what he wants directly. As you said that you
would rather not, but there is nothing wrong in asking
indirectly
how
he sees the friendship with you. Is he
interested in dating or he just wants to
learn the language and maintain a friendship (I
would not be surprised that the latter is the case. I
have had
warm friendships with many women in Japan who simply
wanted to practice their English with me and learn more
about America.)
And when you do
go
to Japan, make sure that you hint to him how you are
interested in a relationship with him by letting him
know that going to
karaoke is a
date and not just
hanging
out with a friend. |
