women dating mature men
to deal with such relationships? -----
By Jade Feng
year old Japanese woman asks, "I started to
work as an office lady in Osaka. I grew up in the countryside and
while I was very happy to find a job in a large city like Osaka I realized
that I was an outsider. I did not dress like other
girls and found
it rather hard to make new friends. Over a period of 5 months, I
realized that Kento, a colleague of mine who is at least
twice my age,
seemed very interested in me. Initially I thought he was just
helping a new employee do her job better (which is very common in Japan)
but then one day he invited me to go for a drink after work. Now
this is something very common in Japan and I agreed immediately. We
both had a very pleasant evening and my affection for him grew that night
since I got to know him as a person rather than just a kacho. I no
longer looked at him as a colleague and started considering him as a
friend. A week after that he secretly gave me a gift and believe it
or not it was a pair of very expensive lace stockings that I wanted to
wear since all girls were wearing but did not have the guts. I think I am
falling in love with Kento. What should I do? He is single and
good looking but I am afraid that he is
too old for me. Please note
that office romance is acceptable in Japan but women are typically
required to quit when they
marry a colleague."
You seem like a modern,
outgoing woman. I
congratulate you on having the courage to leave the countryside and
move to the busy city. You seem to have set some goals for
yourself. I also left a rather old backwards city and moved to a
new busy city. I also didn't dress like other girls and often felt
no connection with other girls. I think it might be fun to
have an affair with someone like Kento, but keep a close tab on your
goals and objectives. Young people often dream of finding the
perfect match and a having a story book
romance, but older people such
as Kento are often just looking for an attractive new plaything. (Related
Women attracted to older men)
decide to further your relationship with him, make sure you know what
his objective is. Many guys will appear to be the romantic type at
first by giving flowers and gifts, but often it is just their way of
expediting the inevitable. Later, after they have conquered you,
they will quickly tire and move on to their next challenge. Many
guys like to feed their ego by continually trying to surmount a new
lady. (Related article:
men dating mature women)
You must also keep tabs on your
career goals. You said
that women who marry a colleague are often required to quit. Are
you prepared to push your career goals aside for this new romance?
(By the way, I think if coworkers get married, the companies in Japan should
at least offer the couple a choice as to who is quitting; it shouldn't
always have to be the woman.) Don't let my advice scare you out of a possibly great
relationship. I just want to propose some things that you may not
have considered in your passionate frame of mind. I have often
seen very successful relationships between older men and
Anyway, the older the couple gets, the closer their ages are in relation
to their life-spans. On the other hand, keep in mind that when Kento was a college age man, you were still wearing diapers and when he
gets older and is no longer interested in tending your fire, it may be
you that is out
romancing a younger man. (Related article: Midlife
Here are some things to think about before you (or any
girl) go to the point of no return: These are questions that should be asked all couples
before issuing marriage licenses. These
questions should be answered with a 'yes' (I realize that not all
questions will be applicable to you since you live in Japan, but I am
giving a comprehensive list for the benefit of other women like you
outside Japan and each one of you who reads this can simply ignore
questions that are not applicable):
Did he give you his
home phone number, or just a
beeper or cell phone number?
Does he eagerly invite you to functions where he will
be meeting his other friends?
Does he encourage you to participate in conversations
met his parents and family?
Did he offer you his house key?
Is he eager to do fun things with you besides
like movies, walks in the park, or trips to the beach?
Does he value your opinion about worldly issues?
Has he asked you about your goals in
Have you asked him about his goals?
Do you share compatible wishes about raising
If you have children, does he fully accept them and
is he eager to interact with them?
If he has children, do YOU fully accept them and
are you eager to interact with them?
If he has children, has he introduced them to you?
(Related: How to
talk about your younger boyfriend?)
Are you sure he has no children?
Are you sure he is not currently married?
Is he legally residing in the country where you are
Do you both share a similar diet, or is one
of you vegetarian and other is a 'carnivore'?
Have you discussed any financial issues like
credit which may affect the other person after the
Are you sure you have both disclosed any vital
information about health issues, especially diseases ?
Have you both discussed and settled on a reliable
method of birth
Have you both discussed and agreed on how to handle
Are you sure he really loves you?
Next part: More
questions to ask when you date a mature man
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