or a lot of people it is not easy to approach the person of their dreams, particularly if they are married and if the person happens to have the same gender as them. In such cases, it is best to just let your inhibitions behind, overcome your shyness, and just tell the person how you feel about her.  (Related article:  Lesbian relationship)

Sandy in Elkton, Maryland, writes, “I have been married for 13 years. I am very happy with my husband, but over the last few months I have become obsessed with a woman that I work with. I have never felt like this before. She is all that I think about and I want to let her know. I am really shy and don't know how to approach her or if I even should. This woman is very open about her being a lesbian and I think that she wants to approach me too, but I am not sure. I just feel that way when she looks at me and she comes around the areas that I work in. They are areas that are out of her way. She looks at me and I just feel crazy inside. What should I do? How can I find out if she is interested in me and ask her to get together with me?"  (Related article:  How to conquer shyness?)

Well, what will work for you is to let your shyness behind and go find out if she is as interested in you as you think she is. As you might know very well, eyes never lie and when you were interested in men you probably noticed that the man that was interested in you a romantic sort of way, you just knew it when you saw into his eyes. Whether we want it or not but what we feel inside comes out through our eyes even if we act otherwise. I think she is just trying to send those messages to you by giving you that sort of look and coming your way. She might simply be checking to see if you are a potential partner.  (Related article:  Tips to find a lesbian relationship)

Here are a few more question to ponder before you ask her for a date:

• Do you know her well? Have you been introduced to her at work? Do you sometimes work together on something? Or are you in totally unrelated areas at work? If not, you might want to make things happen in the office in a way that you can get close to her.
• Will it be possible for you to start a conversation with her? Will you be too shy? What I have done with my clients is that when they are trying to do something like this it is best to think of it as a purely non-romantic activity. So let us say you see her next time, smile at her, chat with her a little bit, (if you know that she goes out for lunch every day) then tell her that you would like to go to this restaurant for lunch and would she be able to come with her. I think what you want to accomplish here is to send her a positive signal that you are interested in her as well and a meal together will be a safe way to do that. Let us also assume that you are totally wrong about her then all you did was to have lunch with a colleague. No damage done.

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