We were both immediately attracted to each other and after three dates she suggested we become physically intimate. This is partly where my problem lies. She initially wanted it, but I think it's hard for her to do. The first few times it was nearly impossible as she simply couldn't let me in (so to speak). I can now help her relax, but she doesn't enjoy it at all! Apparently there is little feeling for her.

After reading some of the stories on MYNIPPON, I'm starting to think something is wrong. She will not move unless I make her, and she never tells me what she wants, in that she cannot ask for anything. It does get frustrating sometimes. Are such behavioral traits common among some women?

Moreover, when she saw some documentaries on TLC and Discovery Channel and I showed her some websites, she was in disbelief about most of the things we generally associate with physical intimacy and take for granted, as she had never heard of them! I find it strange that I have known about these simple techniques since I was a teenager but she is completely oblivious to it. 

I find her submissiveness alluring to some degree, but I realize that perhaps I'm also not getting the whole picture. For example, on Christmas Eve, I foolishly did not see her that day as I was busy with work and I knew I was visiting her on Christmas day. Little did I know about the emphasis placed on Christmas Eve by her, and she later told me how her brother was amazed over the phone that night that she was not with me. I got the impression she was disappointed to spend Christmas Eve alone. If she had told me, I would have been more than happy to spend the night with her. It seems like a bit of communication breakdown. Is it common for some women to not relay what they want to their partner?

I know she likes to look good, and spends a very long time getting ready in the morning. In bed however, she only wears pajamas and unflattering nightwear, and never any kind of lingerie. I've considered buying her some lingerie with stockings as a present, but I'm worried about the potential response from her. But for Christmas, I tested her by buying a typical pink teddy. Quite tame by any standards, but she replied, "Will I wear this in front of you?" I'm quite confused over this. 

I guess there are many things I should learn about women, and I'm concerned that I'm seriously going to mess something up (if I haven't already). Is this girl an exception to most women? Perhaps I should help her find her true self? Or maybe this is already her? Do you have any advice? I do know she was treated quite badly by her parents and has a particularly bad relationship with her father, professing to hate him almost incalculably. Maybe she bears the scars of a traumatic upbringing. Please help!