Tips on lesbian dating

One of the challenges of dating for gay and lesbian people is that first you have to make sure that the person you like has the same lifestyle as you do. Believe me, it can be a bigger challenge than you thank. For heterosexual men and women, anyone of the opposite sex is a potential mate. For lesbians (I will focus only on lesbians in this article since it arose out of a discussion that focused on them but the points are equally valid for gays too), they have to either confirm that the woman that they are attracted to is a lesbian or at least has an inclination.

Sarah, who believe it or not, lives in Singapore, has written to me a couple of times. She is attracted to her professor who has not yet shown any romantic interest in her though she has always maintained more than professorial interest in her through her gestures. Sarah has tried to approach her but has always been politely turned away. While rejection of her earlier efforts have discouraged Sarah from trying again but has not reduced her desire for her professor at all.

Here are few tips for lesbians in such cases:

• A professor or a supervisor may be bit apprehensive about coming across as someone who is too friendly with a student or subordinate. Several institutions have policies that clearly outline what is acceptable and not acceptable and they can also be accused of harassment. It is also common among teachers and supervisors to give equal treatment to all students/subordinates so that they are not accused of being partial or unfair.
• When one needs to find love, one has to be aggressive and not be afraid of rejection. No one ever found love without being rejected a dozen times. The rule is simple: if you don't ask, you rarely get anything. So pick up the courage and ask her out. If she rejects you we will know for sure that she was not a good target in the first place. You can then work on another target.
• If the object of your desire is neither a lesbian nor even curious about it, she might just be uncomfortable with you approaching her. I think that is perfectly fair and in that case you will have to respect her wishes and leave her alone.

Recommended article: How to approach the woman of your dreams?