Rejection is part of finding a relationship

Patricia had a serious crush on her teacher at a language school (around her age, with a boyfriend that she often talked about in the class). She thought that her teacher was also interested in her for something beyond a teacher-student relationship though I was not sure. She was not attending a formal university so I was not sure if rules for dating students applied but what was causing me concern was that her teacher was probably a heterosexual and Patricia's advances would not go too far.

Patricia still wanted to try. She sent suggestive signals through her eyes in the class-room, hung around her attractive teacher a lot, and even suggested a couple of times that she join her for a lunch. Nothing worked. She tells me, "My class has ended officially with her today. After class, I told her that I've enjoyed her class and that she's a great teacher. She said that she hopes to see me go back to school and continue learning more. I might take the part-time class twice a week, but it's with another teacher instead. I tried asking her out for lunch today together with the receptionist at school and was rejected again. This is the third time I was rejected by her. I went for lunch with the receptionist. I don't know why, but I'm very sad, angry and disappointed with her response. I've decided to stop seeing or asking her out for lunch anymore. Although I have her email, I shall not contact her. Perhaps it's time I give up on her? Do you think I should?"

My reply to Patricia was:

"I guess it's over. The good news is that you tried your best. I guess you learned from it and that is good, because you can use this knowledge in the future when you explore a relationship with a woman who is openly heterosexual.

The other thing to remember is that finding love is about having the courage to ask for it and then having a positive attitude in case you get rejected. Rejection is very much a part of finding love. Those who do not know how to face rejection or do not want to face it will have a tough time finding love. So I want you to get the negative feelings out of your mind and never feel that there was anything wrong with you or your approach. Love is about that perfect chemistry between two people, and apparently you both did not find it.

I think it is a good time to move on but I would still suggest that you send her a greeting card for Christmas/New Year. Never burn your bridges; who knows what lies in store in the future for both of you."

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