A life coach for a life makeover
In April 2004, I heard from Iris, an African-American woman in her thirties, whose life was just totally screwed up. She has had over half-a-dozen relationships, including three abortions. She was simply not going anywhere. The man she was dating at the time was simply abusing her emotionally and she did not have the self-esteem to just leave and move on. She sought my help in starting over.
I heard her story in detail, including her abuse when she was a child, the divorce of her parents, and her total lack of a plan for her life. She enjoyed being with men because that made her feel wanted and beautiful. (Related article: A simple program for women to improve their self esteem)
I told her that the first thing that she had to do was to take a 90-day holiday from men. I knew that it was going to be hard for her but I insisted that for that period she should simply stop dating and focus on herself instead. To my pleasant surprise, she followed my advice, broke up with her boyfriend, and started to do little things for herself: shopping for some trendy clothes, redecorate her apartment, get a few skincare treatments, and reconnect with old girlfriends.
Within 5 weeks, she told me that she no longer missed being with men and was truly enjoying her life as a "single". Not having the pressure of a relationship made her look at her life in a way that she never did before. She was now more interested in being beautiful for herself rather than someone else. She did what she wanted at her own will and for herself. Or in other words, she started to nurture her soul and that brought her inner beauty. At the same time, it gave her time to think about her life and she realized that if she did not take charge of her life, she would go nowhere.
As a life coach to her, I made another exception. I did most of my coaching online in her case since she could not afford to pay for my trips. What I noticed though was that she was very eloquent when she wrote. I motivated her to capture some of her thoughts into words and start to publish them. Specifically, I asked her to document her own experiences and provide
tips to other women. Well, the good news is that several publications accepted her articles and now she is a regular contributor to several online publications. She has been able to channel her energy into writing that she was earlier wasting on men.
Earlier this week, she told me, "For once in my life I am doing something that I want to do and feel I am doing the right thing. It is so fulfilling. I have learnt a big lesson: you can work hard towards something and not always expect something back but it is your belief and self fulfillment that really matters above all else. It's funny my life is changing everyday. Unbelievable. The way I talk, think and do things is just not the same. It's like I am another person. I didn not realize that writing could do this for me. It's like I have discovered a new power inside me."
I am so proud of the progress that Iris has made and I am sure that this article will inspire other women to reinvent themselves. Here are a few suggestions on how to completely change your life:
I heard her story in detail, including her abuse when she was a child, the divorce of her parents, and her total lack of a plan for her life. She enjoyed being with men because that made her feel wanted and beautiful. (Related article: A simple program for women to improve their self esteem)
I told her that the first thing that she had to do was to take a 90-day holiday from men. I knew that it was going to be hard for her but I insisted that for that period she should simply stop dating and focus on herself instead. To my pleasant surprise, she followed my advice, broke up with her boyfriend, and started to do little things for herself: shopping for some trendy clothes, redecorate her apartment, get a few skincare treatments, and reconnect with old girlfriends.
Within 5 weeks, she told me that she no longer missed being with men and was truly enjoying her life as a "single". Not having the pressure of a relationship made her look at her life in a way that she never did before. She was now more interested in being beautiful for herself rather than someone else. She did what she wanted at her own will and for herself. Or in other words, she started to nurture her soul and that brought her inner beauty. At the same time, it gave her time to think about her life and she realized that if she did not take charge of her life, she would go nowhere.
As a life coach to her, I made another exception. I did most of my coaching online in her case since she could not afford to pay for my trips. What I noticed though was that she was very eloquent when she wrote. I motivated her to capture some of her thoughts into words and start to publish them. Specifically, I asked her to document her own experiences and provide
tips to other women. Well, the good news is that several publications accepted her articles and now she is a regular contributor to several online publications. She has been able to channel her energy into writing that she was earlier wasting on men.
Earlier this week, she told me, "For once in my life I am doing something that I want to do and feel I am doing the right thing. It is so fulfilling. I have learnt a big lesson: you can work hard towards something and not always expect something back but it is your belief and self fulfillment that really matters above all else. It's funny my life is changing everyday. Unbelievable. The way I talk, think and do things is just not the same. It's like I am another person. I didn not realize that writing could do this for me. It's like I have discovered a new power inside me."
I am so proud of the progress that Iris has made and I am sure that this article will inspire other women to reinvent themselves. Here are a few suggestions on how to completely change your life:
- Be selfish for a while. Focus on yourself. Do what pleases you and matters to you.
- Have a plan that will get you what you want. And then work on it without waiting for magic to happen.
- Get a mentor or a life coach. It is well worth the investment. If you cannot afford to pay, ask a close friend to be your mentor.
- Celebrate your new found you.
Recommended article: Personal style makeover
posted by eCreativa Media @ 1/25/2005 01:05:00 PM
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