Natalie writes, “I want to feel better about myself. I am an A cup, 4’10” and 100 Lbs. I don’t even feel like doing outdoor stuff with my daughter because of this! I know it’s crazy. It is totally destroying my life. I am consumed with thoughts and images of these “perfect women“, and it’s hurting all relationships I have. I want you to help, if possible. I am at the end of my rope and have even fallen into a heavy depression over this. I am at the end of my rope and need serious help. Thoughts of suicide even run through my head when I see large, perky breasts everywhere on TV and in magazines. HELP!!!”
I am very sorry to hear that something like this is literally destroying your life. It should not be this way. I would not like to say that you should just learn to live with this “deficiency” (as some folks might make you feel that way) because it is not a “deficiency”.
The way I look at it is that some of us have tremendous mathematical abilities and become engineers while others are good with creative stuff and become advertising executives while others are good at playing with tools and hardware and go work in factories.
Well, there are several positive dimensions to your situation. The most important being that you are not out of shape as many women are these days. Your weight is quite proportional to your height and this is a great help.
(1) How to feel good about you, have higher self-esteem, and acquire the confidence to project a charming image in public
(2) Develop a strategy to dress and behave so that you develop a style that brings out the best of your physical and mental parts of your personality.
As these professionals work with you, you will discover whatever wonderful things that you have and get those out so that you can max out your physical and inner beauty not only to feel good about yourself and but also for others to realize that you are a totally new person.
And no, no one can promise you the sun, the moon, and the stars; because first I do not think that it is needed, and secondly, there are hardly any solutions like that in life. I believe that if you take consistently take small steps, you will eventually complete the race. Those who try to run a marathon the very first time are bound to fall down and pass out.
(1) Sharing with the therapist: I see this as the very first step and it continues for a while. In the beginning, however, you need to spit out every small/big thing that you have in your heart. I think of this as the detoxification step: let what is bothering you out of your mind to a person who is non-judgmental and unbiased. A lot of time the cause of the problem is not what you think.
(2) Develop a new way to think about life, your personality and self-identity
(3) Create a new image of yours in your mind (improve self-confidence, boost ego, and transform personality)
(4) Physical changes (wardrobe, style, gestures, etc.)
(5) Practice and test what you have learned in real situations. Evaluate performance and make changes, as needed.
(6) Start a new life