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What to do if my husband expects me to be virgin on wedding night?

Hasina writes, “I lost my virginity just about a month ago and I only did it about 3 times until I finally realized what I’m doing to myself. After all I am a good Muslim girl that is supposed to be a virgin on her wedding night. Do you think I can still be real tight down there where no one can notice that I’m not a virgin if I don’t have sex until my wedding day six months from now? Just that I’m really scared and actually thinking about saving up and doing a hymen reconstruction procedure.”

In fact the vagina is very tight until about 40s, 50s and gets somewhat loose only if you have a few kids. So whether you had sex a few times or not has no impact on how tight you are down there — I think you are probably as tight as someone who has never had sex before or never inserted anything else inside. The problem is the whole hymen thing, which as I have discussed previously, is more about that damn blood coming out during sex for the first time.

So avoiding sex will do no good or harm; either way you are still the same.

It appears to me that this is not the man you want to marry then why are you marrying him? For God’s sake this is America, the country of freedom. If someone is forcing you into marriage, call the cops or seek help of a women’s abuse helpline. You do not want to marry a man that is going to treat you as a piece of meat rather than a human with her own brain and who chooses to do whatever she wants with her body before marriage.

If you still want to do the hymen repair surgery or use the artificial hymen, seek the help of a trusted friend or family member. Ask to visit her for a few days and that will be the time to get the surgery done (it only takes hours and you do not need to stay overnight).

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