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Cindy
writes, "My husband and I used to have a
HOT sex
life. We
made love everywhere and anywhere we could. I had a
baby a little less that 2 years ago and from the 3rd
month of
pregnancy, he's been far
less
interested. There is always something going on:
work, kids...
something. Because of our situation things have been
hard. The
baby still won't sleep through the night and wakes
up at least twice each night like clockwork. The only
thing that calms him is for him to feel me near him. So,
I have been sleeping on a futon in the
bedroom with the baby and my
husband
has been sleeping on the bed. We don't want to put
the baby
on the bed. Anyway, we have created this void
between us and it's been so very hard for me. I used to
be more willing and able to
dress up for him in hot lingerie, but now though I
am in
better shape than I was before the baby, I worry
about being
rejected. He's so stubborn and with the kids and no
babysitters it just seems impossible. What can I do
to
help him to be more in the sexual mindset and me to
feel more confident?"
Stress on marriage after childbirth
From what I know,
sexual
desire does go down as a relationship gets mature.
As couples get to know each other more intimately
sex frequency does tend to go down and many couples
find that the
stress of
raising a baby puts a lot of
pressure on sex life. It seems to me, though, that
he has lost interest in you due to another reason. Have
you seen any other changes in him? Does he still treat
you well? How about
being romantic even if it means no
physical intimacy? Do you go out with him? Is he
good to
the baby? Is it possible that he is
depressed or has some
stress due to problems at work? Is he in normal
health? Did you force him to become a dad?
Now regarding your fear of being rejected, I can totally
understand. If this man is not paying attention to you
and if he does the same even when you try to
seduce him it will be heartbreaking. Can you try one
thing? Put on some
cute lingerie (not something super hot but something
that is different and a little
sexier from what you may have been wearing) to sleep
but do not
approach him. Of course, make sure that he sees what
you are wearing. Notice his reaction. Since this is only
a test and you are not really
trying to seduce, there is no reason to feel
rejected. If you see no reaction on him, chances are
that it is him, and not you.
If that is the case, it is better to discuss with him to
see how he can change his circumstances to improve his
health,
lower his stress,
fight his
depression, and be a
good
husband by
enjoying intimacy with you. |
