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It has
been a week, and I have had incessant text messages from
him. I ignored the first few for 2 days, and then after
that felt like I needed to get an explanation from him,
although I do realize that this explanation could just
be another fabrication of his imagination! The text
messages have been remorseful, apologetic; he has asked
me to meet him so he could fully explain. Some of them
have been asking for forgiveness, and asking whether or
not he had lost me forever. He also went through 2 days
of being extremely possessive and asking questions about
whether or not I had
moved on; he also accused me of
sleeping
with other men. He then apologized and said he's
finding it hard that I am going to love somebody more
than him. He then said he wished I had
become pregnant because that way he would never have
to lose me (how selfish, I know!). I have made it clear
that I am never going to see him again, and that any
feelings I have remaining for him are for the man I
imagined him to be rather than the man he actually
turned out to be. It's difficult, but to be honest, I
think that it has made it easier for me to
move
on, because the fact that he is remorseful and
regretful has given me closure, coupled with this kind
of sinister but admittedly nice feeling that he is not
going to
be happy without me, and that at least the love he
had for me was genuine. I was beginning to worry the
whole 6 years had been a show! I have suddenly stopped
obsessing over him, but am worrying that if he stopped
texting me I would start obsessing over him again. It's
an exhausting feeling! I understand that
time is the best healer, and that's the angle I am
going for! Just
having fun,
enjoying myself,
going out with friends and keeping myself busy with
job hunting. It is getting much easier."
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