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Maureen
writes, "I am in my early 20s and I had a
casual sex
relationship with a man in his early 40s. He has
been married in the past and as a
very good
looking man, he has
had many
woman. To be honest with myself I think I am a 'fling'
for him and something new and exciting. I also think he
may use me in order for him to
feel young again. I definitely think I am struggling
with my emotions right now because I am starting to fall
for him but for him I was just a toy --
he does not even call. It's all I think about
though, and I can't seem to get him out of my head even
though I know he's not that interested. I never contact
him, I always wait for him to contact me as I want to
play hard-to-get; it shouldn't be like this. I see
myself
having a future with him but I don't think he feels
the same. All I want to know is how he feels about me.
Truthfully."
Men are rarely
serious in the beginning about dating
Yes, it is likely that he is a
playboy, and probably
going through a mid life crisis and doing what he
can to
boost his ego by
bedding as
many women as possible, particularly
younger ones. Nothing excites a man at that age than
the thought of a
young girl thinking of him as a
stud.
It is fine for a woman to consider
getting serious
If you do want to be with him, there
is nothing that says that a
woman should always wait to be contacted by a man.
For all we know, he might simply assume that you are not
interested in anything serious because that is not how
it all started (there is a distinct possibility that he
left you thinking that you would not be interested in
you because of the
age gap
and he wonders how he can be with you). However, if you
approach
him and show your interest, there is a likelihood
that he may be motivated to think about this
relationship in a different light or it maybe exactly
what he was waiting for. At least it does not hurt to
try. I like to put both men and women at the same level
in these matters despite my emphasis on chivalry by men
at all times.
This approach will also provide some kind of closure for
you. For instance, if you
approach
him with a desire to see him again and explore
something serious, and responds positively, then you are
on the right track because you would have demonstrated
to him
what you want. On the other hand, if you approach
him and he gets scared that you are
getting serious and that is not what he wants, and
he wants to run as fast as he can from you, it will
finally answer the question that you have about how he
feels about you. That will make it easy on you to
move on. |
