 Danielle
writes, "I have been
friends
with a guy for 10 years and there's definitely
attraction there; always has been and he has also
recently
become single. He confessed this to me too, and I
went over, and we spent some time talking about it, but
he says he is
not yet ready for a relationship but the way he says
it seems like
he wants one, and wants to tell me, but is holding
himself back because of his beliefs or morals (wants to
wait longer before starting one) which I understand and
would love to take it slow, but I'm
shy, and I don't want to ask. He's
sending me very clear signals. He's basically
physically
showing affection at every moments, and even
sometimes says
things that are very sweet, that I can't imagine
he'd ever say to just anybody. We have
stayed up all night talking, and I think I'm
falling for him. My
best
friend thinks he's
falling for me. Now that this
hidden attraction has surfaced, is there anything I
should do? I have told him
I'm attracted and with this he's fine, but I want to
be around him. He seems to want to be around me too.
What do you think?
If I
were you, I would not do anything different than what
you are doing. If you have been such
good
friends for 10 years, I see no reason to hurry
things. He is apparently interested in you, but has also
said that he is not ready for a relationship, so why
would you make his life difficult by suggesting that you
want to
enter into a relationship.
Since
he knows you very well and is quite aware that you are
shy and would not
make a move, he will do what he needs to when the
time is right. So let him
recover
from the trauma of the breakup at his own pace and
when he feels that he is
ready to love someone again, he will tell you so and
you two can
start a relationship. In the meantime, just be there
for him as a
good friend would. When the
relationship happens at its own natural pace, it is
more
romantic and hopefully lasts longer. In any case,
converting a friendship into a romantic relationship
is not always easy, so he needs to prepare himself
mentally for that too.
I
also want you to be aware that this could all be in your
head and because you have had a
crush on him all these years, and now that he is
single, you are interpreting every action of him in a
different light. By keeping it slow and asking him to
clarify what he wants, you will be able to make sure
that you do not destroy your
friendship over a
misunderstanding. |
