Yes, indeed we use the expression "I love you" indiscriminately and Asians do not but we also have among the highest divorce rate in the world. My girlfriend puts more stock in my actions and deeds rather than in my words and phrases. A small
gift or action means more to her than a small phrase. As an American, I
frequently find myself full of opinions and hot air always ready to express myself at any time. She, as well as my other Japanese friends, always proceed with caution in conversation and in life. So, the constant assertion of my workings can and sometimes do hurt. If someone asks me for advice rather than giving them the truth, I give them my opinion quickly. She, on the other hand, only expounds on what she
perceives to be the truth. In this respect, I am more callous than she, because I am constantly barraged by the same opinions from my friends as I give to them. It is understood that no one is right. She, however, can take offense at my bluntness because she is not used to this aspect of American culture.
The only thing that I can say to an American thinking about
dating a Japanese or any one of another culture is that you must regard your words and actions as having tremendous weight because chances are that is how she will
receive them. And please stop stereotyping. Asians are regular folks too and just because I happen to date one, it does not mean that I am weird.
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