|
While
dating before
living together and then
getting married
are fairly common in our society that is not how it was
in the past. Obviously definitions of
relationships are
much more flexible now (couples often have children
before even getting married and sometimes even breakup
before that while couples like
Brad Pitt and Angelina
Jolie are raising kids with no plans to ever
tie the
knot) but if you do believe in the
institution of
marriage (there are some tax benefits of doing it and
some people still feel that due to the
hassles of a
divorce people are more likely to
remain married than to
just breakup and move out in a heartbeat).
So the question is how long to date before marriage?
A reader of mine, Gina,
writes, "My current boyfriend knew his ex for over 6
years before they married and so knows from experience
that a lot of time
dating beforehand does not ensure
success, though they were married for 20 years. I have
had both experiences and marriages of 10 and 25 years
and neither worked. We are friends now - they
keep
calling and coming around.
By way of a short courtship working, I know someone who
married 6 months after starting to date a man. She said
they knew within the first couple of months.
They have been married over 7 years and are a very
happy
couple. I did have my reservations due to the short time
they had known one another, but it is
working very well.
Well, there are no guarantees in life - at some point,
after testing the waters, you have to jump in if you
want to swim. It keeps life interesting! Generally
speaking it is always a good idea to take time
making a
big decision (like
marriage) there is no guarantee that
any decision taken after a lot of thinking is a good one
and those taken without thinking are bad ones. There are
just so many variables that determine
outcomes in life. |
