Rachel
writes, "I have been
very honest with a
younger
guy about the future of our friendship but he does
not listen to me. We both ride
motorcycles and took a few long trips up to Prince
Edward Island and
Florida. He fell in love and I didn't. He is a very
nice man, a little on the short side, I am
tall
and I am not
attracted to him. He does not
take
care of himself or things which really do not matter
I guess. My husband was killed on a
motorcycle 10 years ago; I am just now
letting go. Every guy I went out with falls fast and
hard for me. I am no beauty, but I do like to have fun.
He cries and gets so
insecure if he thinks I am
moving
on without him. He wants so badly to be involved and
to be loved. I tell him he so deserves that. It makes me
feel bad so I stick around out of guilt. I am not
interested in a relationship, just
casual dating. He says he will
win my heart, and is
slowly finding out that it's not happening. I told him I
love him but not in love. It goes through both ears. I
am not out to hurt no one, and I am scared of
growing
old alone. He does not take no for an answer. I
guess I will go through the rest of my life confused. He
told me since I am 55 I better
settle down since some
one like him is interested in me because I am not
getting any younger. That made me mad. I am not that
needy."
I think all women have the right to
choose whom they date, have a relationship with, and
marry.
If he is a great guy to just hang out with, then, you
have a right to keep things that way, but it appears
that he is taking things too seriously. It is obvious
that this guy likes you more than you do and he is not
taking your advice about not getting into a
relationship. I hope you realize that
dating often leads to relationship and if you are
not interested in a relationship your best option is to
seek
friendships (yes, it is possible to
find men
who are also interested in
dating and not in
relationships but clearly
this is not that man).
Before any more damage is done, it is best that you stop
seeing him because he appears to be
codependent and
desperate, while you are an
independent woman.
You will only be exacerbating the
situation if you stick around either due to guilt or
sympathy or compassion. Your best option right now will
be to
completely cut off this guy and specifically
date men who share your
preference for dating alone.
While I may want to suggest that you should keep your
eyes out for a
great man that you feel compatible with, but this is
not that man. Once in a while, a
person has to just
let go
off past bad relationships and
give
life another chance -- I am an eternal optimist and
I think that despite all the mean people
out there, the world is also full of wonderful people. |
